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Each person has a different love language. Each person has a different way of showing trauma. Hard is hard and people can be judged as to how long they should react or how they should react after any particular trauma. Feelings are indicators, not dictators and the absence of empathy, understanding, or validation is enough to do great damage.
A little validation goes a long way. The pair talk about gaslighting and crazy making. Enter into this conversation of judgment and let’s love each other where we are. That is a great place to start a relationship.
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