You can Make Excuses or You can Make Adjustments

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Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.

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I am Tina and I am Anne.

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Tina, you said recently that your favorite book is Love Does by Bob Goff, when we talked about how love is a verb.

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Well, love does, because I believe that we've all been called to action.

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What I mean by that is life is not stagnant.

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We were meant to be, not just exist.

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I have so many examples of this, but I want to share a Chinese proverb If you don't change your direction, you will land exactly where you are headed.

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There is actually action to change direction.

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You can't just rely on the sail to know where you're supposed to go.

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I mean, you have to actually direct it.

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So we have to do something in order for us to go a different direction.

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The cat who sits on a hot stove won't ever do it again, but he won't even sit on a cold one either.

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I mean, think about that?

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Yeah, I am.

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I am thinking about that, thinking about it, since we had, you know, off air written about it.

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Now, along those same lines, my husband recently told our oldest son's baseball team they are 10 new players and I was told from one of the players' counselors, through the mom, that this is the age 10, 11, where boys seem to hit.

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It's not exactly puberty, but just some changes before growth.

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Maybe it is, I don't really know, but it would explain why they're really emotional this year.

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And you know, my son has had a couple of times where I'm like who are you?

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What is happening?

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And so I really loved what my husband said to the team after one of their games.

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He said you can make excuses or you can make adjustments.

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And just like you were talking about I know I love that too, as you're talking about you know, the cat won't sit on a hot stove again either after he's done it once.

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He's never going to sit on a cold one either.

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That really stood out to me what my husband told them you can make excuses or you can make adjustments.

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I've been thinking about that ever since he said it, because it applies to so much more than just baseball, did he like look that up, or did he just spout that out of his mouth without even thinking?

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You know, it's really funny.

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I tell him all the time he is actually really, really wise, and I say the word actually because he's very quiet and so when he talks.

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I do listen because he has some really insightful things to say.

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So no, that's that's what he said.

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He came up with that and I wish I could have sold it.

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Is that what he said?

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That's what he said.

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He said he came up with it.

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I wish I could take credit for it, but it really is my husband's words.

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But I really love it.

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You can make excuses or you can make adjustments.

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Fits right along with what you were just saying.

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You know, I am thinking about that, Kat, and I have been too, ever since I first read it.

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So how many times do you do something and then you get the same results?

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So you just think that every single time the same thing is going to happen.

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It's hard to break that cycle.

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And then I think part of it might even be a fear response.

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I was watching something recently, and I can't remember what children's show it was, but it said you can't let fear hold you down forever.

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You have to move.

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It was something like that and it's so right.

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And for me personally, I really struggled recently with trying to get back on track.

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So what happens is I do really well with something for two to three weeks, it seems, and then you skip a day, or you skip two days.

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Those two days become three, let's say with meal planning, let's say with exercise, and then for some reason it is so, so hard to get back on track.

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And I don't know if I just tell myself I don't know weird, mean, wrong things, but I don't know exactly why it's so hard to get back on track.

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I know I'm not the only one that deals with that and suffers from that, but it is really hard, really hard to get back on track after that.

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And so, yeah, I can totally see how, and it's happened so many times where you just struggle to get back up or you keep doing the same thing over and over and over with the same response and you're like well, how do I change it?

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And sometimes you just got to.

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I've told my kids before do the opposite of what you've been doing, the complete opposite.

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So as soon as you think you're supposed to do it this way, do it the other way, because it maybe will help break the cycle.

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You know, it is impossible to change unless we try again and again, or just what you just said, unless we move or go in a different direction.

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You know, my brother told me an interesting story this week after listening to last week's podcast, and I had not forgotten.

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I had not forgotten about this, but it's really something that I don't honestly think about very much.

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This is actually super cool fun fact about me, actually super cool fun fact about me.

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My legs were extremely I'm talking like extremely bow-legged and my feet were like this.

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I never knew that when I was born and so I had to wear.

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You know, I'll let my brother talk about it.

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He sent me a really cool email, okay.

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So this is what he said regarding your latest podcast you always had the will and drive.

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I remember, right after you had learned to walk, they put you in the cast for your legs and they were full leg casts and within two days or so you had figured out how to teeter around on point and even run.

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Then the cast came off and basically I had to learn to walk all over again, which he says you did without missing a beat.

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Nothing fazed you.

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So I mean that was really cool to read that.

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You know, I don't know if this is something a person is just born with I am reminded of a Vince Lombardi quote if you know who he is, he's one of the best NFL coaches in history and he has many great quotes but he said chase perfection, knowing we won't catch it.

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But we will catch excellence, perfection.

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You are always trying to reach something you can never attain, Always setting yourself up for failure, I believe.

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But excellence is something that you define for yourself.

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I mean, everybody's definition of excellence, I would think, would be different.

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I mean, when I was that baby who learned to walk, I was not going to let Cass stop me from moving forward.

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My moving forward was different, but I just kept moving, and that's what's important.

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I learned to walk even with the cast on.

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Then I had to learn again with them off.

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Just like that unicycle I have talked about, I learned how to ride it.

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I mean, I was never perfect at it, but to me, striving to ride it and reaching that goal was excellence to me.

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I still fell.

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I was not the best at it, I couldn't do all the tricks that everybody else could do, but I rode in a parade.

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Now I am one to raise the bar.

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That's what I do.

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As soon as I reach something, you know, I raise the bar, and that's my way of trying to reach excellence.

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The point is not perfection, but continued improvement and not being that cat that now won't even get on any stove Well, they probably shouldn't anyway, because that's not really safe.

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But I know what you mean and I really I really do love that.

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I love the Vince Lombardi quote.

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I really really like that.

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I think I love the Vince Lombardi quote.

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I really really like that.

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I think I'm going to have my husband share that with the baseball team and, like I said, I do know what you mean and I try to live by.

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It's a I believe it's a Lisa Turkist two word quote imperfect progress, it's still progress and that's what's important.

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It's kind of like that fall forward.

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There is some kind of saying that I am not where I used to be, but I am better than I used to be.

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Not perfection, but continual improvement.

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Yes, I think we're just talking about that imperfect progress.

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Anything moving forward is a good good thing.

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Do you consider yourself hard on yourself?

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Are you your hardest critic, would you say.

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Oh me, absolutely.

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I think that's one of my biggest downfalls.

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I am my harshest critic.

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It's that whole inner critic trait that I know some people have and it's a rough one.

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But I will say I am slowly beginning to learn how to quiet it down and treat myself better.

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Do you get?

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down on yourself if you are struggling, or does it kick you in?

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the butt.

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So first, oftentimes I'll throw a very small pity party.

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Oftentimes I'll throw a very small pity party, then I kick myself in high gear.

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So, to answer your question, both and I'm very similar to you in that it's like once I kick it in high gear, not only am I going to meet whatever that expectation was that I had set for myself, but I'm going to exceed it, and so I usually do.

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If it's one word that has followed me my whole life, it would be determined, and I love that about me, sometimes to a fault, but I really do.

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I really do love my determination and I really love that.

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My brother sent me that because that showed me how I was determined even just beginning to walk, because I had to learn to walk three times.

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Yeah, I love that he sent you that Because he got to witness that.

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So it's kind of, you know, it's a really cool thing coming from him and that he saw how determined I was, even as a little little baby.

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So I mean that's super cool.

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When I asked you that question, I mean I just changed a couple of words.

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Does this sound the same?

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When I asked you that question, I mean I just changed a couple of words.

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Does this sound the same?

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Do you give up if you fail, or are you hard on yourself if you are struggling?

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I think changing those words makes a world of difference.

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To me, failure means and I think maybe to many, stop trying, give up, done no other option.

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But struggle implies, at least to me, more of an attitude of keep trying until I get the results I'd hoped for.

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I mean, I found that really interesting how, when we talk to our kids or when we talk to anybody, I mean just changing a word like saying you failed at this, you know, versus you're struggling, it has a completely different perspective to it.

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Yeah, I agree, I absolutely agree.

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I think it can shift the whole perspective immensely from thinking there's no hope to hope Absolutely, and if we did that for ourselves too, because, like you said, I too am probably one of my biggest critics and I can get so hard on myself, but I turn it around and I don't let myself, you know, stay down for very long.

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So, you know, I have a son that every day, no matter what he sees, he wants to do that.

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When he grows up, you know, he's like okay, I want to be a race car driver, I want to be an NFL player, it doesn't matter.

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We have a friend who his their son, is in ballet and I went to his recital and I told my son all about it, and then he starts doing twirls and he's like I want to be a ballerina, and it's just like.

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You know, it's really interesting.

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I'm glad that he wants to be everything, because isn't that you know what being a little kid is, and you want your hopes and dreams to be as big as they possibly can be, with no limitations.

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But I always say for him to be the best him that he can be whenever they have an IEP, because he's got so many disabilities and I just want him.

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You know they always ask me that question what do you want your son or any of my kids on the IEP.

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They always say, what do you want their goal to be?

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And I just say I just want them to be the best that they can be.

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I mean, isn't that really what we all want for our kid?

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Yeah, I think so, and I think I don't know if it was.

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I don't know who said this, maybe it was me, I don't even know.

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But what I always tell my kids, you know, if they're like, oh I want to be like LeBron James or I want to be like so-and-so, and I say I think wonderful, but you are, and I say their name and you need to be the best version of you, because there's only one you.

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So you can do things like these famous people that you want to be like, or this NFL star or this MLB star or the NBA star, but at the end of the day, what you need to be is first, the kind human we always say, and also the best version of you, because there's no one else like you and that's really cool.

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Have you ever seen the movie Dangerous Minds with Michelle Pfeiffer?

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So so, so long ago.

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It's been a while for me too, but it's one of my favorite movies and one of my favorite parts in the movie.

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You know, she was a teacher of some pretty rough kids who lived in a pretty rough area and they were hardened.

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They would have been very hard to teach.

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And there she is trying to figure out how to reach them.

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And one of my favorite things in the movie she says to them that you all have an A, they're starting with an A, they just have to keep the A.

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And this kid says to her no one ever given me an A before.

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You know.

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I mean, when we think that the journey begins at the bottom to the top, it almost can seem impossible.

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But just imagine how his outlook was when he realized that he was already at the top and he just had to stay there.

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Yeah, I feel like it does make all the difference.

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That absolutely could.

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There's another movie very similar to Dangerous Minds and I can't think of the name of it off the top of my head but.

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I love it so much.

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Freedom Riders.

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Are you trying to think of Freedom?

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Riders, it is Freedom Riders.

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That is one of my all-time favorite movies as well, for the very same reason, how she took kids who it was like no one cared about and she made them feel loved and special and they wanted them to do other things.

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I think there's such power in just reshaping it and reframing it in a mindset of depending on the person you're dealing with, so I really love that.

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Can I give you a fun fact about that?

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movie.

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Yeah, I got to.

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As a journalist, I got to interview her, the real teacher you did, I did.

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We talked on the phone for about 20 minutes.

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That's amazing.

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What did you ask her?

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You know what was it really like.

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You know she's still in touch with all these kids, or how long did she stay a teacher?

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I mean it was a long time ago, it was when the movie first came out and the book.

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And then I actually went to one of her book signings and she I have a signed book of freedom writers from her and we kind of connected again and I, you know, I said I talked to you on the phone and and she probably had talked to hundreds of journalists, so I'm not really sure if she remembered me, but it was really fun to be able to connect with her and she had stayed in contact with them and she also went on this mission because she actually left teaching after that, but only to be a teacher of teachers and she has, like this whole curriculum for teachers and how to do what she did.

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So it's really awesome, amazing.

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That's amazing.

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We definitely need more of that.

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So if all you have to do is do enough to stay at your best, just stay at your best, it really does seem attainable.

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You know, my son, though, does have to do more than just say he wants to do this or do that, because intention is great, but without action it leads to nothing, right?

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That's so true and I was just getting ready because I didn't want to forget this.

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We always tell our kids that your best is always enough.

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I don't expect 100% every single day, because what if you're feeling sick and you can only give it 70% that day?

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But if that's your best, it's enough.

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So I keep trying to let them know that every day is probably not going to be 100%-er.

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Every day it's probably not going to be 100 percenter If it is great, but I believe they're always giving 100 percent of what they have to give and that will always be enough.

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You know, some of my favorite people in the world were my swimmers and I had the best job for 12 years, coaching some of the best hardworking kids and no matter what we threw at them, they did it.

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I mean it didn't matter.

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So I mean it was like four hours a day sometimes and dry land and all that stuff, and one of the things I used to do with them is have them close their eyes and visualize every single stroke from the start to the finish, with them winning at the end.

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I found this was just as important as their actual physical practice.

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Oh, I really like that.

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I do.

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It's funny because you took me on a journey.

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I didn't close my eyes, but in my mind I could just see it happening and I don't know.

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I think in a way that has to kind of pump you up.

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Yeah.

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You know, I've done that in life.

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When I want to attain something, I actually will visualize it and visualize me doing it and it's, I think.

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Well, we've talked about manifesting, but I mean, I really do believe that, and I've heard Michael Phelps talk about how he would mentally prepare, and part of that is visualization.

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I think that's powerful.

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In fact, I think maybe we could try using that with our team.

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I was with our oldest son's baseball team.

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My husband and I started going on 6 am walks around the block because it seems to be the only time that we can get time together.

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Yes, I don't know if I told you that, but for the last two weeks now, I finally started walking not on my treadmill.

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I was wondering, but for the last, two weeks now I finally started walking not on my treadmill, I was wondering.

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And on our walk, I think just this morning I was talking about how sort of along the lines of what you were just saying, but it's maybe more positive talk instead of a visualization.

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But I was telling my son he's starting to have a little bit of self-doubt which he's never had before, a little bit of emotion which we were talking about earlier in the podcast, how this is the age for boys, that it can usually happen, and the fact that just in the last probably two months that his hair has gotten much curlier again tells me that there's got to be something going on.

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There are a couple of other changes too, but hormonally, just with age, as you're getting older, and things like that.

00:19:05.757 --> 00:19:11.496
So we're thinking about this and how can we get through to him Instead of saying the same thing over and over?

00:19:11.576 --> 00:19:22.855
My husband doesn't think he's getting through to him, and I'm not sure if I am either, but after one of his games recently, my son came home and said Mom, I did what you told me to do and I said oh, what's that?

00:19:22.855 --> 00:19:28.522
And he said, when I thought that I wasn't a good shortstop, which he's fantastic.

00:19:28.522 --> 00:19:40.090
I don't know why he's saying that he predominantly plays center field now, but he does play shortstop when the other shortstop is pitching, and he's done that for the last two years, so I'm not sure where it's coming from.

00:19:40.090 --> 00:19:56.185
Anyway, he said, when I thought that I couldn't, I instead told myself yes, you can, you are a good shortstop, you are a good player, and so just positive things that we say, so kind of saying the opposite of what you're thinking.

00:19:56.185 --> 00:20:02.537
It's not exactly what you're saying, but it is another tool in the toolbox, and I was so happy that he told me that he used that and it seemed to help him.

00:20:02.998 --> 00:20:05.544
So my husband and I again back to that 6 am walk.

00:20:05.544 --> 00:20:17.278
We were talking about how, you know, maybe when we talk to him here, you know, this week when something comes up, we can remind him of how that helped him and to just do positive self-talk, positive self-talk.

00:20:17.278 --> 00:20:22.424
So I am a good baseball player, I am a great teammate, you know, and he repeats those things.

00:20:22.424 --> 00:20:29.636
And then when you get to, you know, I am a great shortstop.

00:20:29.636 --> 00:20:31.483
You repeat that a couple of times until he's like I am a great shortstop, you know.

00:20:31.483 --> 00:20:31.765
Believe that.

00:20:31.765 --> 00:20:43.422
I just thought that was something else to pass along, as we're just talking about, you know, a few tools to jumpstart you right, to shift your perspective, to kind of manifest what you hope for.

00:20:44.369 --> 00:20:52.383
I was just talking to somebody the other day about you on that I believe in me, I believe in me, or something like that that you said and how you say it.

00:20:52.383 --> 00:20:59.107
You know where you do say yeah, I believe in myself, I believe in myself, I believe in myself, I believe in myself.

00:20:59.107 --> 00:21:04.162
You know, I mean, you say it until you actually believe it.

00:21:04.162 --> 00:21:16.182
You know, one of my favorite things about coaching my kids was they became amazing people inside of the pool and outside of the pool and I was always just so proud of who they became.

00:21:16.182 --> 00:21:37.076
And your son, you know, that's the other thing is for him to realize that it's not just about being a shortstop or you know, it's how he is on the field and off the field and just who he is as a person, and he's a great person and that's really what's most important.

00:21:37.919 --> 00:21:40.016
Absolutely, and that's what I'm trying to tell him.

00:21:40.016 --> 00:21:42.900
You know, in life things are going to happen that you wish wouldn't.

00:21:42.900 --> 00:21:46.199
But you're going to strike out sometimes in baseball and in life.

00:21:46.199 --> 00:21:54.857
Sure, okay, you're going to want to cry sometimes and sometimes it's the right place for it and sometimes it's just not, and you have to just kind of learn to.

00:21:54.857 --> 00:21:58.798
I've started to talk to them about reading the room.

00:21:58.798 --> 00:22:04.232
Okay, time and place for everything.

00:22:04.232 --> 00:22:05.137
Sometimes you can't cry in certain instances.

00:22:05.137 --> 00:22:07.670
You know everyone's going to strike out, you know we don't see.

00:22:07.730 --> 00:22:13.491
Major League Baseball players crying every time they're at bat or if they get thrown out at first, second, third home.

00:22:13.491 --> 00:22:18.411
It's part of the game and I would take it a step further to say that's part of life.

00:22:18.411 --> 00:22:26.480
And so, yeah, some things absolutely cry over it because it's tough, but some things you need to grow from it instead of cry about it.

00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:34.455
But at the end of the day, I care more about who he is and I think he's great Not perfect, of course, none of us are but really, really great and I love that.

00:22:34.455 --> 00:22:36.121
He's such an encouraging teammate.

00:22:36.121 --> 00:22:38.172
You know, going back to sports, he's got it all.

00:22:38.172 --> 00:22:40.213
I, you know, we keep trying to tell him just back to sports, he's got it all.

00:22:40.213 --> 00:22:47.561
We keep trying to tell him just go out and play Sandlot baseball, the game that you just love with your friends backyard baseball and hope that it just clicks.

00:22:47.561 --> 00:22:48.584
We're just here to have fun.

00:22:48.584 --> 00:22:50.025
Nobody's putting pressure on you to win.

00:22:50.025 --> 00:22:50.746
Do we want to win?

00:22:50.746 --> 00:22:56.009
Who?

00:22:56.029 --> 00:22:57.611
doesn't, but at the end of the day it matters more their mental health to us.

00:22:57.611 --> 00:22:58.692
I just keep thinking of that show, all American.

00:22:58.692 --> 00:23:05.276
I don't know if you watch it, but it's a really good show on these kids that play football and it's the exact same thing.

00:23:05.276 --> 00:23:08.238
And they just continually.

00:23:08.278 --> 00:23:22.748
This one guy, he is the best of the best and it got to him, it got in his head and whenever he would mess up, you know he just was way too hard on himself and you know I'm kind of seeing that with Caitlin Clark right now.

00:23:22.748 --> 00:23:29.471
I don't know if you've been watching that WNBA.

00:23:29.471 --> 00:23:37.631
I've been trying to stay connected and watch some of the games and she came in into Indiana Fever as one of the best from college and she's struggling.

00:23:37.631 --> 00:24:01.641
I mean, she's trying to keep up with all these women and they're being kind of hard on her right now and it's just interesting to be able to see her still maintain who she is coming in at the bottom and trying to acclimate herself to something that is much more fast paced and a lot harder, something that is much more fast-paced and a lot harder.

00:24:01.820 --> 00:24:12.327
Absolutely, again, you can make excuses, as my husband said, or you can make adjustments, and just the conversation I had with my son last night was everything is hard the first time.

00:24:19.730 --> 00:24:21.922
But if you keep at it, you keep practicing, you move on, it becomes easier because you get better at doing it.

00:24:21.922 --> 00:24:41.157
You know, while we're talking about movement and I can remember being an AA when I first went into treatment and I mean I was new, I was so young and I was gosh I wasn't even 25, I don't think and I was surrounded by wisdom and all these people who would stand up and they would give their stories of sobriety.

00:24:41.157 --> 00:24:44.979
And you know the day that I remember more than any other day.

00:24:44.979 --> 00:24:46.363
It was the day.

00:24:46.363 --> 00:24:47.796
Is it your sobriety date?

00:24:47.796 --> 00:24:50.898
No, it's not, nope.

00:24:51.611 --> 00:25:05.054
It's the day that a man stood up and said and I can remember this so clear, I can even remember where I was sitting and where he was standing I mean, that's how much this hit me.

00:25:05.054 --> 00:25:08.303
He stood up and he said I had 20 years.

00:25:08.303 --> 00:25:11.273
But today I have one day.

00:25:11.273 --> 00:25:34.613
I can still remember him so defeated, all the success stories that I have heard over the years you know they've come and gone and I don't really remember them as much but I wanted so badly to go up to him and say to him you know, you drank one day in 20 years.

00:25:34.613 --> 00:25:36.075
I mean, that's all.

00:25:36.075 --> 00:25:44.203
Just one day Focus on all that you have accomplished and don't let the one mistake keep you from getting back up.

00:25:44.203 --> 00:25:45.467
Because that's how he looked.

00:25:45.467 --> 00:25:48.894
I mean, he really looked like he had failed himself.

00:25:49.816 --> 00:26:17.933
That's how our son's baseball team has been looking, and I can tell you periods of my life where I felt that way and I think again when it was so hard for me to start exercising again, is because it's like you, all the effort that I put in and I saw the results and now I feel like I'm back at the bottom and to get back up is going to be so much hard, so hard, so much harder, especially because, you know, now I'm in my 40s and I hear you know things are harder to do then.

00:26:17.973 --> 00:26:37.689
But I empathize with the man that you're talking about because I could feel, going through what you're saying, I could actually feel how he would feel defeated and how hard it would be for him to not feel that way because you worked so hard all that time and then you feel like you just threw it all the way, even though we didn't.

00:26:37.689 --> 00:26:38.211
I agree.

00:26:38.211 --> 00:26:42.248
I agree, One day you can have a bad day or you can have a bad moment.

00:26:42.248 --> 00:26:44.913
I actually believe more in bad moments than bad days.

00:26:44.913 --> 00:26:53.979
But you know, I don't think you can throw away all of those other 20 years of sobriety, but I can see why that definitely stood out to you.

00:26:54.346 --> 00:26:58.855
I mean that was the first time and I love I mean AA is an amazing program.

00:26:58.855 --> 00:27:11.866
I, you know, went through all the tours in Akron, ohio, where it originated, and I mean I know all the big book and all that stuff and I mean I believe in all their principles.

00:27:11.866 --> 00:27:27.453
But I really want anybody that feels as if that they messed up, that it's not the end, like you didn't, like you just messed up and you can begin.

00:27:27.453 --> 00:27:35.538
I mean I wanted him to be able to say you know, still keep his 20-year chip.

00:27:35.538 --> 00:27:47.443
You know, just still keep it and still be like so proud of what he had accomplished, and not for him to feel like he needed to throw that chip away and start with day one and just get a one-day chip.

00:27:47.443 --> 00:27:53.798
I mean that just to me, that's where I had a hard time.

00:27:54.244 --> 00:27:55.971
Yeah, no, it makes perfect sense.

00:27:55.971 --> 00:27:59.515
I absolutely think he deserves to keep that 20-year chip.

00:27:59.515 --> 00:28:02.375
And then you start again and you earn another 20-year chip.

00:28:02.806 --> 00:28:04.231
It's about perspective and drive.

00:28:04.231 --> 00:28:05.285
That's what we're talking about.

00:28:05.285 --> 00:28:13.724
And I knew when I was that baby and I knew when I was in treatment and I knew when I was that swimmer and I knew when I was that kid filled with trauma.

00:28:13.724 --> 00:28:24.394
And I knew when I was in treatment and I knew when I was that swimmer and I knew when I was that kid filled with trauma and I knew when I was that kid filled with multiple disabilities, unable to learn, like my peers, that there was a choice.

00:28:24.394 --> 00:28:30.709
But for me, my drive was to rise above it all and no matter what move.

00:28:31.730 --> 00:28:34.455
I think that that is the biggest takeaway from today.

00:28:34.455 --> 00:28:36.165
Just take that next step forward.

00:28:36.487 --> 00:28:52.125
Recently in a podcast I shared about a counselor named Dr Donna Dannenfelser Dannenfelser, I think, is how you say it and she didn't know anything about football but became the counselor to the New York Jets and she just kept going even though she was told no.

00:28:52.125 --> 00:28:57.057
She just kept moving no matter what no or block went in her way.

00:28:57.057 --> 00:28:59.710
I shared this already when we adopted.

00:28:59.710 --> 00:29:04.747
I kept going even though there were blocks, and I kept moving and doing and I'm not sure.

00:29:04.747 --> 00:29:12.173
But I must not have heard the blocks because people would say things and I just would keep going as if I didn't hear them.

00:29:12.173 --> 00:29:21.309
So I mean, I think that that's how we need to go about life If we have a direction that we want to go, just don't hear those blocks along the way.

00:29:21.309 --> 00:29:24.941
You know you have to block it out, you do.

00:29:24.941 --> 00:29:27.768
I mean this is a little funny, because I would have done this.

00:29:28.188 --> 00:29:33.777
We recently had to refill our pool and as soon as I got I would have done this, tina.

00:29:33.777 --> 00:29:42.308
I mean they said you know I go outside, I'm turning the water on, I'm going to fill the pool.

00:29:42.308 --> 00:29:43.951
I mean this is a huge pool and the water's brown.

00:29:43.951 --> 00:29:47.077
The water had been cleared the day before it had been clear.

00:29:47.077 --> 00:29:48.307
So it wasn't the pipes.

00:29:48.307 --> 00:29:50.750
I don't know what happened, but it was brown.

00:29:50.750 --> 00:30:00.039
And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go in the house, I'm going to start filling buckets from the kitchen sink and I'm going to start filling this pool.

00:30:00.039 --> 00:30:07.586
And everybody is looking at me and my family like I'm crazy, and I'm like, no, this is what I'm going to do, I'm just going to.

00:30:07.826 --> 00:30:12.371
And then eventually, you know, I just kept going outside and the water did turn clear again.

00:30:12.371 --> 00:30:15.634
Fortunately, I was going to do it.

00:30:15.634 --> 00:30:18.417
That's how determined I am as a.

00:30:18.417 --> 00:30:19.740
Okay, I can.

00:30:19.740 --> 00:30:22.006
Okay, I'll just figure it out, I'll do this.

00:30:22.006 --> 00:30:24.592
The kids broke the trampoline pole.

00:30:24.592 --> 00:30:29.007
I just said, okay, I go to Home Depot, I get a pole, I tape it up.

00:30:29.007 --> 00:30:30.851
I, you know, I make it work.

00:30:30.851 --> 00:30:32.953
I mean, I just figure out it's.

00:30:32.994 --> 00:30:37.382
MacGyver stuff, we're MacGyvers, okay.

00:30:37.382 --> 00:30:48.256
I don't think I would have went as far, though, as saying, yes, I'm going to fill the pool with buckets, I am driven, but that I think that that tops it all, because that, to me, is a never ending process.

00:30:48.256 --> 00:30:49.097
I couldn't do that.

00:30:49.805 --> 00:30:55.838
I think after the 20th bucket I probably would have quit, but I think I would have tried.

00:30:55.838 --> 00:30:58.971
You know it's therapeutic to move.

00:30:58.971 --> 00:31:03.321
To sit just leads to more stagnation.

00:31:03.321 --> 00:31:12.653
Like I said in another episode, if I am where I was three months ago or six months ago, you know I'm going to figure out why and I'm going to move.

00:31:13.979 --> 00:31:14.742
That's so good.

00:31:14.742 --> 00:31:16.709
Sitting leads to more stagnation.

00:31:16.709 --> 00:31:17.529
I love that.

00:31:17.529 --> 00:31:20.958
And then, equally so, moving leads to more movement.

00:31:20.958 --> 00:31:23.868
You know, there's a book, yeah.

00:31:23.989 --> 00:31:24.711
Oh, I like that.

00:31:24.711 --> 00:31:51.835
Yeah, I mean, there's a book Move the Body, heal the Mind by Dr Jennifer Heisz H-E-I-S-Z I'm not sure, but she is a neuroscientist who discusses research on how fitness and exercise can combat mental health conditions such as anxiety, dementia, ADHD and depression, and offers a plan for improving focus, creativity and sleep.

00:31:51.835 --> 00:31:59.951
She says that physical inactivity is the greatest risk factor contributing to dementia and anxiety.

00:31:59.951 --> 00:32:02.757
It's as much a factor as genetics.

00:32:02.757 --> 00:32:14.516
And it says exercises anti-inflammatory properties makes it the most effective treatment strategy for those who are depressed and don't respond to antidepressants.

00:32:15.465 --> 00:32:17.874
Yeah, she's not the only one that does that.

00:32:17.874 --> 00:32:27.838
There's so, so, so, so, so much research in people who are neuroscientists and sports scientists and you name it, who are right on board with this.

00:32:27.838 --> 00:32:38.498
And that's why I couldn't figure out because you know, with the disease that my mom has the early onset Alzheimer's why, as I know I'm in this pivotal decade of my 40s why am I not wanting to move?

00:32:38.498 --> 00:32:45.198
That's so counter to who I am as being driven, and it turns out, the only obstacle in my way was me.

00:32:45.198 --> 00:32:50.273
I just needed to start, and now I'm moving and I want to move.

00:32:50.674 --> 00:32:54.545
So you're right, sitting back, you can be tired and stagnant, or you can get up and move, and I'm to move.

00:32:54.545 --> 00:33:02.153
So you're right, you know, sitting back, you can be tired and stagnant, or you can get up and move, but you know and I'm not even doing like a ton I'm making sure that I walk a mile, a little over a mile, every morning.

00:33:02.153 --> 00:33:02.855
It's a start.

00:33:02.855 --> 00:33:07.349
You know, it's not anything huge and I get that, but it is a start and I think that's what counts.

00:33:08.684 --> 00:33:09.866
This is the end of part one.

00:33:09.866 --> 00:33:23.219
Make excuses or make adjustments, but from real talk with Tina and Ann, the most important thing that we need to do is just move, even if it's just one step, just keep moving.

00:33:23.219 --> 00:33:26.387
Sitting leads to more stagnation.

00:33:26.387 --> 00:33:35.119
Sitting leads to more stagnation, and we're going to keep moving together on this journey.

00:33:35.961 --> 00:33:39.459
Remember, you can join us each week anywhere you get your podcasts.

00:33:39.459 --> 00:33:45.773
You can listen to us every Sunday morning at 11 am on WDJYFMcom out of Atlanta and online.

00:33:45.773 --> 00:33:51.730
You can also listen to us on Denver's radio station 92.9 and 89.3.

00:33:51.730 --> 00:34:04.807
You can listen online at denveropenmediaorg and you can watch us on San Francisco's Pacifica Community Television on Comcast channel 26 and 27 and online at Pacific Coast TV.

00:34:04.807 --> 00:34:13.599
You can reach us on Facebook at Real Talk with Tina and Ann and you can go catch up all of our episodes or message us at realtalktinaanncom.

00:34:13.599 --> 00:34:21.838
You can catch our monthly newsletters and get special messages from us and if you write us, we will write you back.

00:34:21.838 --> 00:34:27.998
So thank you so much for Real Talk with Tina and Ann and we will have part two next week.