Transcript
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Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.
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This week we are running an episode because we lost one of our most avid listeners.
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Keith Davis was a very unique listener and was actually on our podcast.
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He was my brother this is Anne, by the way.
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He never missed an episode 75 episodes, never missed one and always had a lot to say about every single word that we talked about.
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He supported Tina and me and actually made sure that he met Tina when he was here at my house on his last visit.
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He died completely unexpectedly.
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I got the phone call when I was on vacation with my family in Florida that he had passed away and I was, to say the least, completely shocked.
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I wanted to make sure that we ran this clip that he said to me when he was here.
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We actually got to sit down and he wanted to tell our listeners how he felt about Real Talk with Tina and Ann.
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This was an intellectual genius who led with his brain and never his feelings, but he told us that we changed his way of thinking and gave him a very different perspective.
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I was always grateful for his honesty.
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Tina and I had recently taped an episode and talked about a message that he had sent me right before he passed away regarding my resilience and determination, because that's what the episode was about and he said that I had learned how to walk three times as a baby he's 20 years older than me, by the way.
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I completely forgot about that and he shared the story of how I had to learn how to walk and then got cast from hip to toe because my legs were extremely bow-legged and my feet were crossed and very, extremely inward, and so I learned how to walk with those on and then they took them off, and then I had to learn how to walk again with them off.
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So he said, nothing was ever going to stop me.
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That was the last I heard from him.
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I don't think that that's by accident that that was his last words to me.
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I was the last I heard from him.
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I don't think that that's by accident that that was his last words to me.
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I got the message.
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Keith.
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My kids absolutely loved Uncle Keith and he will be missed.
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I mentioned how Tina and I had just taped our 75th episode and we were just, you know, so thrilled and we got our Nielsen ratings back.
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And we were just, you know, so thrilled and we got our Nielsen ratings back and we have over 575,000 listeners on our radio stations.
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That is huge for our first year and a half on the air.
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And I wanted to share that with Keith and I texted him that and I never heard back and I wondered why.
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And I never heard back and I wondered why.
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But now I know why.
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Well, keith, this one is for you.
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This is the clip from Keith talking about Real Talk with Tina and Ann.
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Because you're a regular listener of the podcast.
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The things that were being discussed represent, you know, personal and family processes going on all over the country every day, very important for the formation of the next generation.
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The children are going to be the next generation of adults.
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This was very valuable information and it's presented in a very clear way and I think, as I put it, where the rubber meets the road, you know, in terms of the actual application, it meets the upbringing and all of that.
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Even though it may seem like it's everyday stuff, it's still profound, it's deep in its own way.
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You know it's important stuff.
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Did you ever think that you would be listening to two moms talk about everyday stuff?
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Given my lifestyle, single adults should probably never, never, have any kind of interest in such a thing, but it's like it's a hidden world.
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You guys have really opened it up, and so even people who might not have any direct interest in this kind of stuff.
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You still talk about a lot of other issues that affects you know, like a lot of other people, issues that affects you know, like a lot of other people, like PTSD, you know.
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Let's see autism.
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Right, I always want to say Alzheimer's.
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Let's say that's next.
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Well, her mom does have Alzheimer's.
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We do talk about that.
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That's true, you do so, yeah, so that's kind of the mix of them.
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Yeah, we try to talk about everything that affects everyday people.
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Yeah, so I think it's a much wider interest in these people with kids' problems.
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Yeah, Okay, well, thank you, you're welcome.
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We're going to run an old episode about overcoming and resilience.
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I wanted to play this one in memory of Keith.
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Welcome to Real Talk.
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I am Tina and I am Ann.
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Tina, you and I both have had a great deal of trauma in our past, and one of the things that you are doing to get to the core of who you are is getting ready to go on this two-week excursion through some of the dangerous trails in Hawaii.
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Yes, back in 2009, when I first laid eyes on the Kalalau Trail, I knew one day I would want to see that rugged coastline from my point of view, not from a boat or from the sky, which are the only two other ways that you can access this trail.
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It is 22 miles in length and you just have your backpack, all your stuff, on your back, and you camp out and I know it's just going to be so beautiful.
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If anybody wants to know the Kalalau Trail, it is the backdrop to Jurassic Park.
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It's those emerald cliffs that you see and why.
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I've been asked so many times why this trail?
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Why Is it because of the danger?
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Is it because of this or that?
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And no, it's really a deeper reason than just the beauty of the trail and my love for the great outdoors.
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I've been thinking and dreaming about it since 09, when we honeymoon to Kauai and we did do a boat tour to see that Jurassic Park coastline.
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But it really became a reality when my mom was officially diagnosed with her early onset dementia in 2021.
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That diagnosis devastated my mom and me, and it still does, and it is progressing quickly.
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So I knew that I would need something to look forward to so that I didn't lose all hope, especially since my dog passed away that same year, which was my source of comfort, my very best friend.
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So I began researching the trail and then making a plan and working toward my strength goals.
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I dropped baby weight, I began eating better.
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I watched the series Limitless with Chris Hemsworth who was Thor, in case anyone was wondering and it's where I learned that your 40s are a pivotal decade for your brain and your body, and so I made the decision that the time is now and I want to be in the best shape of my life, for myself and for my family.
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So in that series, limitless, chris did genetic testing and his results were revealed to him during the last episode and it really gutted me because you could see the anguish just on his face and in his body language as he learned that he has the APOE4 gene, which carries a tenfold greater risk of developing Alzheimer's.
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And it's changed the game for him.
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He actually has taken a step back from acting.
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He's not quitting, he's just not doing as much, because he said he wants to focus more on his family and really process what that meant for him, knowing that he has that gene.
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So I did not do genetic testing and I don't know if I will, but what I am doing is everything I can to live my very best life with the things I have control over in it.
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So, interestingly, I was running one week and I was listening to a podcast and while listening to it I wanted to quit running, even every.
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And I was listening to a podcast and while listening to it I wanted to quit running.
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Even every time I'd go to a workout, I would tell myself lots of very real reasons why I shouldn't go today.
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Oh, you know, you have to catch up on laundry, you have to do this, you should spend time with your kids.
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You know all the excuses.
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So I'm running the one week and I'm listening to a podcast, a brand new one.
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I'm not even sure if I remember what it's called, but while I was listening to it I just I wanted to quit running.
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I was tired and I kept telling myself remember why you started.
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Remember why you started, remember your why.
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Moments later, you'll never believe it.
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But the podcast guest said that very same thing.
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I know I smiled and I just ran even faster and it was my why that kept me going.
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It's my why that will keep me going, and so I guess what I wanted to say is the next time you want to just quit, remember why you started.
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That is just so powerful.
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I mean that just makes me want to accomplish some of the greatest things right now.
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I mean some of the hardest things.
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I can just picture you just pushing through and running faster and faster while you're listening to that, and that sounds like a movie.
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That sounds like a movie.
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I couldn't believe it.
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I remember that day.
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I mean, you know one of those like oh my gosh, your eyes get wide.
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You were like you were just thinking about that very thing and then, moments later, they say it I was like it was meant to be.
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Yeah, it was a moment for sure.
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Well, this is going to be an amazing adventure for you for sure.
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I'm sure it is the only thing that's been on your mind lately, but when you're going to go on this trip, and the listeners and myself, we just can't wait for you to come back with a lot of stories and things that we can learn from you.
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Well, thank you.
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I hope to learn and grow so much from this adventure, really looking for a deep transformation, if you will.
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I think it will take me some time to process it all and I believe it will keep giving me gifts as the months go on after I return.
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Oh, yeah, for sure.
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I mean.
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This reminds me of going into a treatment center when I was in my 20s and people thought that I really needed to go.
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You know, it makes your life go on pause and you reflect and you grow.
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Everything stops for a moment in time and you come out with a different perspective than when you went in.
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Yeah, sometimes you just need a different view to clear your mind and refill it in a different way, to reshape it, and I'm absolutely looking for that, especially because I've always really known I'm a highly sensitive person.
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But I just started really diving into what that means and learning more about me and why I need alone time in the day, every day, a little bit of alone time, and why overstimulation is bothersome to me, and so I'm ready for this pause.
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You know this trip is going to be you against you.
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It's you against the elements and you against the terrain, and you against your mind, you against your physical abilities.
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Absolutely.
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I am totally looking forward to this trip as an internal strengthening and I am praying for physical health.
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I've been nursing and overtraining right foot injury right now, so I've been sidelined for the last 10, 12 days.
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I'm not able to really do a whole lot of training, but it is getting better.
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I've been advised by my physical therapist it will likely get worse on the trail but we are doing all kinds of things to be prepared for that and to be in the right mental strength mode, if you will, to get through that.
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I can literally feel the excitement, the energy, the growth, the beauty, the peace, the rest in my body.
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Truthfully, I feel it.
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Well then you will have that.
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You just know that it's the right thing and the right timing, and I'll be thinking about you and your foot while you're gone and hope you can endure whatever it is and you and it can just get you to the end.
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So, absolutely, you know what this reminds me of.
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Is that movie?
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There's a movie called facing the giants.
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Have you ever seen it?
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I have not.
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I've not heard of it either.
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Oh my gosh, I don't know if you are going to get the chance to watch this movie before you go, but if you get like I don't even think it's two hours like an hour and a half, if you get like I don't even think it's two hours, like an hour and a half, it's really worth.
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It is so inspiring about this boy named David and a football team called the Giants.
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I mean right, I mean it does sound familiar.
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You know David and Goliath in the Bible and he was definitely the underdog in that situation.
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There was absolutely no reason that David should have won against that giant, but he did.
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And so you know, this movie facing the Giants is just that this underdog football team and this boy named David.
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They go against a team called the Giants, but they also find that their biggest hurdles were really within themselves and they had to tackle their own beliefs and their own doubts about their own abilities and found that anything was possible with God and anything was possible when they put their mind to it.
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I love the way that movie sounds, already just hearing about it.
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The team was actually only doing as well as they believed, which was that they couldn't beat anybody, and they really did believe they couldn't do it, so they didn't.
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Sometimes we are as good as our thoughts.
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We are as good as how we talk to ourselves, and if we tell ourselves we can't, we are right.
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That is so true, so powerful.
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So I've been practicing some positive self-talk and encouragement and also talking to myself about giving my own self-grace much like I would anybody else but me, you know, and, like I said, I am a highly sensitive person.
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If you're hearing this, thinking maybe I am too.
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Yeah, look it up.
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Lots of good stuff about it and I'm just new into diving into that part of me.
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But I'm learning that those very things that you say, what we tell ourselves we are or we become, I'm learning that the positive self-talk is a big deal, the self-compassion is a big deal.
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I'm learning that I need alone time to recharge.
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I need time in nature.
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Lots of studies that shows how powerful nature is for all of us.
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Meditation to help calm my nervous system.
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I just want to encourage each listener to find what works for you to bring you peace, and do it unapologetically.
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You know, we have this episode that we did, Tina and I did, stopping short of success and that mindset of not believing in myself often made me just stop short.
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But the day I told myself that success is on the other side of that obstacle, I made me dig in my heels to do it.
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I cannot tell you how many times in my life that I wanted to stop right before breaking through.
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I mean, there are so many obstacles that make us believe that we can't.
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I mean we can just think of any kind of excuse that we want to we can think of.
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We can believe that we just can't because of whatever reason, so that we just stop short and don't realize that success was right on the other side of that obstacle.
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Quickly, I want to share something.
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When I was a kid, we had to stand up in front of the class and tell everybody what we wanted to be.
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I think I was like I don't even think I was, I was still in elementary school, but I said I wanted to be an actor and I lived on the stage or created in my room all the time actor and I lived on the stage or created in my room all the time and I was always acting things out or writing or drawing or playing instruments, and that's where my happy place was, and it still is.
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I actually was in some musicals and plays and was never more thrilled.
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Now I get that same feeling doing the podcast or writing like you, I mean, I'm sure, on the radio every morning.
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It is a purpose and that is what we love to do.
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So making a difference by creating.
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In Exodus 9, it says but I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed.
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So create with purpose.
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I mean God created with purpose, and I just got a proclaimed.
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So create with purpose.
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I mean God created with purpose, and I just got a shirt that said create with purpose.
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I absolutely love it.
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You know what you are going to do on those trails is create, forge a new path, a path less traveled you are going to conquer.
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That's so sweet that you say you are going to conquer.
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It's what my spiritual counselor just said to me the other day as well go and conquer.
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So I think I just have a big smile on my face.
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If you can't tell by how I'm talking, because I love when you hear things more than once you know you really pay attention to that and I think you're absolutely right about everything that you just said.
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I think you're absolutely right about everything that you just said.
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I didn't know if I could do the training for this trip.
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And lots and lots of mornings probably 95% of mornings or days or evenings whenever I would be training I would come up with excuses of why I couldn't, didn't, want to, shouldn't, can't.
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You know I'm not good enough this, that the other thing, but you know what I now know I can conquer this, that the other thing.
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But you know what I now know.
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I can conquer this trail because I've conquered training.
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I know there's going to be challenging parts, both physically and mentally for me, but I also know that I can do it and I will never quit.
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No, I know you, I know you're going to do it and I can feel it when you're just talking about it.
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You know, I thought of you when I was watching that movie Facing the Giants the other night, because there was this kid, not the David character, but he was the captain of the football team and he did not believe in himself or the team, and it showed, I mean, the coach had put this 160 pound other kid on top of this kid to do like this lobster crawl all the way down the field.
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Well, he was blindfolded so he could not tell where he was or what he was doing, you know.
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And he said to the coach I can't even, I'll barely make it to the 20.
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And the coach said, well, let's try the 50.
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But because he didn't know where he was on the field and he didn't know how far he had gone, he made it to the end zone and it was his own self that had stopped him before that.
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But when he couldn't see the obstacles, which was the line on the field or whatever, I mean, he made it all the way.
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Oh, I love this so much.
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I'm such a visual person and I will carry that story with me on the trail and in that exact way that you phrased it.
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Maybe I don't I'm not going to exactly know how far I am along the trail, but I think if I don't stop and I just keep going until I see that beach, I will be just fine.
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And a beach at the end of the trail.
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Oh my gosh, that's just amazing.
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I didn't even know that part of it.
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Waterfall, oh my.
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So the exact scene from the Jurassic Park.
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That waterfall, that's what you're talking about.
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I don't know if it's exactly that waterfall, but it's in the opening scene of Jurassic Park where you see those beautiful cliffs.
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Yes, yes, okay, oh my gosh, now I'm going to have to go watch it just to know where you are, so where you're going to be for sure.
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So I was just talking to a friend about you and I said you know she is going to do this, she is going to do this, and I am so proud of her.
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Thank you.
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You know what?
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To be honest with you, I am proud of me too.
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I don't know if I've said that very often, but I really am.
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My fears have been overcome by excitement and I feel ready to go.
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We all have dreams.
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What mountain is standing in your way?
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You know, for the people that are listening, what obstacle I mean.
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Back to my story for a second.
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That dream never went away.
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I wanted to create when I was a kid and I want to create now, and it took different paths, but I always made sure that I was still creating with purpose.
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You would think, with me wanting to follow my dreams, I would have went to Hollywood or New York, because that's what I wanted to do, but I allowed obstacles to stop me.
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I'm not sure why I felt such an obligation for me to stay home for my mom instead of leave for my dream.
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And I still went to college, but I didn't go the path that I wanted because I thought of her and I continued that until she died in 2008.
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And by then I had married and had my kids, and now my younger kids I'm raising.
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I didn't have my kids, and now my younger kids I'm raising.
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And I step back and I say what obstacles were put here by me?
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I mean, I still wrote a book and I worked in media for many years and had had my own column and have written many speeches that I've done when I worked in the jail system.
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I got to write and preach and realize that there is not one way up that mountain.
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There are many ways.
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So some take the exact path that they knew that they would take, and some take the path that is more treacherous or that is the one less traveled, or take the detour.
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But it is not about how we get there, but that we get there.
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Amen, absolutely.
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I love that it's not about how we get there, but that we get there.
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You know, I recently realized, and this was so interesting to me I was talking to my friend and I was like, oh my goodness, I was good friends in high school with a guy who won an Emmy.
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Another friend of mine, who I liked, liked on my swim team.
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You know, we like, I, like, like, like, like us.
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We were in the swim team together and we used to, you know, choose the lane to swim with each other in the lane and considered ourselves in a kid way, boyfriend and girlfriend.
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And he's a Hollywood producer.
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I didn't even know that, but he's a Hollywood producer.
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And another boyfriend of mine was his.
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His brother is a Hollywood cameraman and I had some opportunities there that I let go.
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And I know another friend of mine whose husband is a lead guitarist of a famous band, and I mean there's a couple more people I could you know, and it just makes me wonder why they fulfilled their dreams and mine was just different.
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So I'm like what the heck God?
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When my thoughts go to how did I end up in this small town when my dreams were so big?
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You know, I realized that dreams can be fulfilled where we are, dreams are a process.
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And when I look back on my careers because I've had several I realized I never stopped creating and I've always been able to do it with purpose and in really fulfilling ways, even my photography.
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You know, I guess, what we ask ourselves if our dreams did take a different path, are we fulfilled?
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Are we using what we have inside of us to our potential?
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Are we giving it our all?
