Real Talk with Tina and Ann
June 19, 2024

Tribute to Ann's brother Keith: Overcoming and Resilience

Tribute to Ann's brother Keith: Overcoming and Resilience

Ann remembers her brother who passed away this week. He had just sent her a very special message before his death. Listen as Ann shares what that was and her message back to him. This episode is dedicated to him.

Tina and Ann are rerunning this episode on Overcoming and Resilience because of Keith's message to Ann.

Thank you so much for listening. We have hit over 575,000 listeners on the radio and podcast. We are very grateful for everyone who shares in this journey with us.


Have you ever wondered what it takes to truly conquer your fears and step out of your comfort zone? In our "Conquer With Purpose" chapter, we dive into the transformative power of adventure and self-discovery. Drawing inspiration from the movie "Facing the Giants," we explore the importance of understanding oneself, especially as a highly sensitive person, and the necessity of positive self-talk. We reflect on personal experiences and the profound self-discovery that comes from pushing past our limits. This is a reminder that true success often lies just beyond our fears and doubts.

Lastly, we explore the themes of overcoming trauma and silencing the inner critic in "Overcoming Inner Critic and Trauma." Tina shares her experiences with Internal Family Systems therapy and her battle with the inner critic, while Anne reveals her own challenges and triumphs. We discuss how facing obstacles head-on can lead to growth and personal happiness. As we wrap up, we express our gratitude to our listeners and share our excitement for upcoming episodes, sending our love and good wishes to Tina on her journey. Tune in for a heartfelt and inspiring episode that honors the past, embraces the present, and looks forward to the future.

If you missed part 1. you can reach the entire episode here Directing your life: When your story ends, did your script and cast meet your expectations? (realtalktinaann.com). It is a must listen. You can also watch the complete episode by clicking the above link.
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Chapters

00:08 - Real Talk

09:03 - Conquer With Purpose

19:05 - Overcoming Obstacles and Fulfilling Dreams

26:45 - Overcoming Inner Critic and Trauma

33:30 - Sending Love and Good Wishes

Transcript
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00:00:08.414 --> 00:00:10.960
Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.

00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:15.852
This week we are running an episode because we lost one of our most avid listeners.

00:00:15.852 --> 00:00:20.870
Keith Davis was a very unique listener and was actually on our podcast.

00:00:20.870 --> 00:00:25.182
He was my brother this is Anne, by the way.

00:00:25.182 --> 00:00:38.314
He never missed an episode 75 episodes, never missed one and always had a lot to say about every single word that we talked about.

00:00:38.314 --> 00:00:45.293
He supported Tina and me and actually made sure that he met Tina when he was here at my house on his last visit.

00:00:45.293 --> 00:00:48.665
He died completely unexpectedly.

00:00:49.366 --> 00:00:56.752
I got the phone call when I was on vacation with my family in Florida that he had passed away and I was, to say the least, completely shocked.

00:00:56.752 --> 00:01:03.728
I wanted to make sure that we ran this clip that he said to me when he was here.

00:01:03.728 --> 00:01:10.355
We actually got to sit down and he wanted to tell our listeners how he felt about Real Talk with Tina and Ann.

00:01:10.355 --> 00:01:22.736
This was an intellectual genius who led with his brain and never his feelings, but he told us that we changed his way of thinking and gave him a very different perspective.

00:01:22.736 --> 00:01:25.540
I was always grateful for his honesty.

00:01:26.201 --> 00:01:47.322
Tina and I had recently taped an episode and talked about a message that he had sent me right before he passed away regarding my resilience and determination, because that's what the episode was about and he said that I had learned how to walk three times as a baby he's 20 years older than me, by the way.

00:01:47.322 --> 00:02:16.681
I completely forgot about that and he shared the story of how I had to learn how to walk and then got cast from hip to toe because my legs were extremely bow-legged and my feet were crossed and very, extremely inward, and so I learned how to walk with those on and then they took them off, and then I had to learn how to walk again with them off.

00:02:16.681 --> 00:02:21.132
So he said, nothing was ever going to stop me.

00:02:21.132 --> 00:02:22.716
That was the last I heard from him.

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I don't think that that's by accident that that was his last words to me.

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I was the last I heard from him.

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I don't think that that's by accident that that was his last words to me.

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I got the message.

00:02:29.550 --> 00:02:29.911
Keith.

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My kids absolutely loved Uncle Keith and he will be missed.

00:02:35.405 --> 00:02:44.673
I mentioned how Tina and I had just taped our 75th episode and we were just, you know, so thrilled and we got our Nielsen ratings back.

00:02:44.673 --> 00:02:51.769
And we were just, you know, so thrilled and we got our Nielsen ratings back and we have over 575,000 listeners on our radio stations.

00:02:51.769 --> 00:02:54.993
That is huge for our first year and a half on the air.

00:02:54.993 --> 00:03:00.206
And I wanted to share that with Keith and I texted him that and I never heard back and I wondered why.

00:03:00.206 --> 00:03:02.730
And I never heard back and I wondered why.

00:03:02.730 --> 00:03:05.074
But now I know why.

00:03:05.074 --> 00:03:09.522
Well, keith, this one is for you.

00:03:09.522 --> 00:03:13.091
This is the clip from Keith talking about Real Talk with Tina and Ann.

00:03:16.419 --> 00:03:17.783
Because you're a regular listener of the podcast.

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The things that were being discussed represent, you know, personal and family processes going on all over the country every day, very important for the formation of the next generation.

00:03:27.751 --> 00:03:31.729
The children are going to be the next generation of adults.

00:03:31.729 --> 00:03:49.487
This was very valuable information and it's presented in a very clear way and I think, as I put it, where the rubber meets the road, you know, in terms of the actual application, it meets the upbringing and all of that.

00:03:49.487 --> 00:03:55.586
Even though it may seem like it's everyday stuff, it's still profound, it's deep in its own way.

00:03:55.586 --> 00:03:56.884
You know it's important stuff.

00:03:57.199 --> 00:04:01.326
Did you ever think that you would be listening to two moms talk about everyday stuff?

00:04:01.486 --> 00:04:12.127
Given my lifestyle, single adults should probably never, never, have any kind of interest in such a thing, but it's like it's a hidden world.

00:04:12.127 --> 00:04:22.309
You guys have really opened it up, and so even people who might not have any direct interest in this kind of stuff.

00:04:22.309 --> 00:04:28.442
You still talk about a lot of other issues that affects you know, like a lot of other people, issues that affects you know, like a lot of other people, like PTSD, you know.

00:04:28.442 --> 00:04:29.466
Let's see autism.

00:04:29.466 --> 00:04:33.245
Right, I always want to say Alzheimer's.

00:04:33.245 --> 00:04:34.048
Let's say that's next.

00:04:34.860 --> 00:04:36.345
Well, her mom does have Alzheimer's.

00:04:36.345 --> 00:04:36.987
We do talk about that.

00:04:37.567 --> 00:04:41.968
That's true, you do so, yeah, so that's kind of the mix of them.

00:04:42.259 --> 00:04:45.651
Yeah, we try to talk about everything that affects everyday people.

00:04:46.120 --> 00:04:49.889
Yeah, so I think it's a much wider interest in these people with kids' problems.

00:04:49.910 --> 00:04:53.968
Yeah, Okay, well, thank you, you're welcome.

00:04:53.968 --> 00:04:58.819
We're going to run an old episode about overcoming and resilience.

00:04:58.819 --> 00:05:02.591
I wanted to play this one in memory of Keith.

00:05:02.591 --> 00:05:04.485
Welcome to Real Talk.

00:05:04.485 --> 00:05:06.625
I am Tina and I am Ann.

00:05:06.625 --> 00:05:22.023
Tina, you and I both have had a great deal of trauma in our past, and one of the things that you are doing to get to the core of who you are is getting ready to go on this two-week excursion through some of the dangerous trails in Hawaii.

00:05:22.242 --> 00:05:37.911
Yes, back in 2009, when I first laid eyes on the Kalalau Trail, I knew one day I would want to see that rugged coastline from my point of view, not from a boat or from the sky, which are the only two other ways that you can access this trail.

00:05:37.911 --> 00:05:49.149
It is 22 miles in length and you just have your backpack, all your stuff, on your back, and you camp out and I know it's just going to be so beautiful.

00:05:49.149 --> 00:05:53.805
If anybody wants to know the Kalalau Trail, it is the backdrop to Jurassic Park.

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It's those emerald cliffs that you see and why.

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I've been asked so many times why this trail?

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Why Is it because of the danger?

00:06:02.297 --> 00:06:03.605
Is it because of this or that?

00:06:03.605 --> 00:06:10.350
And no, it's really a deeper reason than just the beauty of the trail and my love for the great outdoors.

00:06:10.350 --> 00:06:17.625
I've been thinking and dreaming about it since 09, when we honeymoon to Kauai and we did do a boat tour to see that Jurassic Park coastline.

00:06:17.625 --> 00:06:25.471
But it really became a reality when my mom was officially diagnosed with her early onset dementia in 2021.

00:06:25.471 --> 00:06:31.413
That diagnosis devastated my mom and me, and it still does, and it is progressing quickly.

00:06:31.413 --> 00:06:42.742
So I knew that I would need something to look forward to so that I didn't lose all hope, especially since my dog passed away that same year, which was my source of comfort, my very best friend.

00:06:42.742 --> 00:06:48.790
So I began researching the trail and then making a plan and working toward my strength goals.

00:06:48.790 --> 00:06:51.365
I dropped baby weight, I began eating better.

00:06:51.365 --> 00:07:10.509
I watched the series Limitless with Chris Hemsworth who was Thor, in case anyone was wondering and it's where I learned that your 40s are a pivotal decade for your brain and your body, and so I made the decision that the time is now and I want to be in the best shape of my life, for myself and for my family.

00:07:10.509 --> 00:07:32.855
So in that series, limitless, chris did genetic testing and his results were revealed to him during the last episode and it really gutted me because you could see the anguish just on his face and in his body language as he learned that he has the APOE4 gene, which carries a tenfold greater risk of developing Alzheimer's.

00:07:32.855 --> 00:07:35.107
And it's changed the game for him.

00:07:35.107 --> 00:07:38.675
He actually has taken a step back from acting.

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He's not quitting, he's just not doing as much, because he said he wants to focus more on his family and really process what that meant for him, knowing that he has that gene.

00:07:48.406 --> 00:08:00.081
So I did not do genetic testing and I don't know if I will, but what I am doing is everything I can to live my very best life with the things I have control over in it.

00:08:00.923 --> 00:08:08.276
So, interestingly, I was running one week and I was listening to a podcast and while listening to it I wanted to quit running, even every.

00:08:08.276 --> 00:08:10.720
And I was listening to a podcast and while listening to it I wanted to quit running.

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Even every time I'd go to a workout, I would tell myself lots of very real reasons why I shouldn't go today.

00:08:14.747 --> 00:08:18.886
Oh, you know, you have to catch up on laundry, you have to do this, you should spend time with your kids.

00:08:18.886 --> 00:08:20.266
You know all the excuses.

00:08:21.860 --> 00:08:26.290
So I'm running the one week and I'm listening to a podcast, a brand new one.

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I'm not even sure if I remember what it's called, but while I was listening to it I just I wanted to quit running.

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I was tired and I kept telling myself remember why you started.

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Remember why you started, remember your why.

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Moments later, you'll never believe it.

00:08:42.107 --> 00:08:45.715
But the podcast guest said that very same thing.

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I know I smiled and I just ran even faster and it was my why that kept me going.

00:08:53.052 --> 00:09:01.807
It's my why that will keep me going, and so I guess what I wanted to say is the next time you want to just quit, remember why you started.

00:09:03.690 --> 00:09:05.571
That is just so powerful.

00:09:05.571 --> 00:09:12.274
I mean that just makes me want to accomplish some of the greatest things right now.

00:09:12.274 --> 00:09:14.634
I mean some of the hardest things.

00:09:14.634 --> 00:09:23.799
I can just picture you just pushing through and running faster and faster while you're listening to that, and that sounds like a movie.

00:09:23.799 --> 00:09:24.779
That sounds like a movie.

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I couldn't believe it.

00:09:26.780 --> 00:09:29.142
I remember that day.

00:09:29.142 --> 00:09:32.063
I mean, you know one of those like oh my gosh, your eyes get wide.

00:09:32.063 --> 00:09:39.366
You were like you were just thinking about that very thing and then, moments later, they say it I was like it was meant to be.

00:09:39.366 --> 00:09:41.388
Yeah, it was a moment for sure.

00:09:46.509 --> 00:09:47.817
Well, this is going to be an amazing adventure for you for sure.

00:09:47.817 --> 00:10:00.320
I'm sure it is the only thing that's been on your mind lately, but when you're going to go on this trip, and the listeners and myself, we just can't wait for you to come back with a lot of stories and things that we can learn from you.

00:10:01.221 --> 00:10:01.923
Well, thank you.

00:10:01.923 --> 00:10:08.774
I hope to learn and grow so much from this adventure, really looking for a deep transformation, if you will.

00:10:08.774 --> 00:10:16.696
I think it will take me some time to process it all and I believe it will keep giving me gifts as the months go on after I return.

00:10:18.099 --> 00:10:19.081
Oh, yeah, for sure.

00:10:19.081 --> 00:10:19.461
I mean.

00:10:19.461 --> 00:10:26.630
This reminds me of going into a treatment center when I was in my 20s and people thought that I really needed to go.

00:10:26.630 --> 00:10:31.062
You know, it makes your life go on pause and you reflect and you grow.

00:10:31.062 --> 00:10:36.615
Everything stops for a moment in time and you come out with a different perspective than when you went in.

00:10:37.529 --> 00:10:54.644
Yeah, sometimes you just need a different view to clear your mind and refill it in a different way, to reshape it, and I'm absolutely looking for that, especially because I've always really known I'm a highly sensitive person.

00:10:54.644 --> 00:11:11.696
But I just started really diving into what that means and learning more about me and why I need alone time in the day, every day, a little bit of alone time, and why overstimulation is bothersome to me, and so I'm ready for this pause.

00:11:12.658 --> 00:11:16.025
You know this trip is going to be you against you.

00:11:16.025 --> 00:11:23.431
It's you against the elements and you against the terrain, and you against your mind, you against your physical abilities.

00:11:24.273 --> 00:11:24.913
Absolutely.

00:11:24.913 --> 00:11:32.216
I am totally looking forward to this trip as an internal strengthening and I am praying for physical health.

00:11:32.216 --> 00:11:39.538
I've been nursing and overtraining right foot injury right now, so I've been sidelined for the last 10, 12 days.

00:11:39.538 --> 00:11:43.653
I'm not able to really do a whole lot of training, but it is getting better.

00:11:43.653 --> 00:11:58.278
I've been advised by my physical therapist it will likely get worse on the trail but we are doing all kinds of things to be prepared for that and to be in the right mental strength mode, if you will, to get through that.

00:11:58.278 --> 00:12:07.336
I can literally feel the excitement, the energy, the growth, the beauty, the peace, the rest in my body.

00:12:07.336 --> 00:12:09.236
Truthfully, I feel it.

00:12:10.691 --> 00:12:12.514
Well then you will have that.

00:12:12.514 --> 00:12:23.655
You just know that it's the right thing and the right timing, and I'll be thinking about you and your foot while you're gone and hope you can endure whatever it is and you and it can just get you to the end.

00:12:23.655 --> 00:12:28.186
So, absolutely, you know what this reminds me of.

00:12:28.186 --> 00:12:29.168
Is that movie?

00:12:29.168 --> 00:12:31.673
There's a movie called facing the giants.

00:12:31.673 --> 00:12:33.116
Have you ever seen it?

00:12:33.979 --> 00:12:34.600
I have not.

00:12:34.600 --> 00:12:35.962
I've not heard of it either.

00:12:36.470 --> 00:12:48.837
Oh my gosh, I don't know if you are going to get the chance to watch this movie before you go, but if you get like I don't even think it's two hours like an hour and a half, if you get like I don't even think it's two hours, like an hour and a half, it's really worth.

00:12:48.837 --> 00:12:55.186
It is so inspiring about this boy named David and a football team called the Giants.

00:12:55.186 --> 00:13:00.378
I mean right, I mean it does sound familiar.

00:13:00.378 --> 00:13:05.919
You know David and Goliath in the Bible and he was definitely the underdog in that situation.

00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:10.961
There was absolutely no reason that David should have won against that giant, but he did.

00:13:10.961 --> 00:13:17.937
And so you know, this movie facing the Giants is just that this underdog football team and this boy named David.

00:13:17.937 --> 00:13:33.692
They go against a team called the Giants, but they also find that their biggest hurdles were really within themselves and they had to tackle their own beliefs and their own doubts about their own abilities and found that anything was possible with God and anything was possible when they put their mind to it.

00:13:34.394 --> 00:13:37.663
I love the way that movie sounds, already just hearing about it.

00:13:38.331 --> 00:13:49.034
The team was actually only doing as well as they believed, which was that they couldn't beat anybody, and they really did believe they couldn't do it, so they didn't.

00:13:49.034 --> 00:13:52.359
Sometimes we are as good as our thoughts.

00:13:52.359 --> 00:13:58.399
We are as good as how we talk to ourselves, and if we tell ourselves we can't, we are right.

00:13:59.629 --> 00:14:02.038
That is so true, so powerful.

00:14:02.038 --> 00:14:17.460
So I've been practicing some positive self-talk and encouragement and also talking to myself about giving my own self-grace much like I would anybody else but me, you know, and, like I said, I am a highly sensitive person.

00:14:17.460 --> 00:14:20.018
If you're hearing this, thinking maybe I am too.

00:14:20.018 --> 00:14:20.659
Yeah, look it up.

00:14:20.659 --> 00:14:26.235
Lots of good stuff about it and I'm just new into diving into that part of me.

00:14:26.235 --> 00:14:40.758
But I'm learning that those very things that you say, what we tell ourselves we are or we become, I'm learning that the positive self-talk is a big deal, the self-compassion is a big deal.

00:14:40.758 --> 00:14:43.499
I'm learning that I need alone time to recharge.

00:14:43.499 --> 00:14:44.796
I need time in nature.

00:14:44.796 --> 00:14:48.801
Lots of studies that shows how powerful nature is for all of us.

00:14:48.801 --> 00:14:52.296
Meditation to help calm my nervous system.

00:14:52.296 --> 00:14:58.581
I just want to encourage each listener to find what works for you to bring you peace, and do it unapologetically.

00:14:59.910 --> 00:15:10.932
You know, we have this episode that we did, Tina and I did, stopping short of success and that mindset of not believing in myself often made me just stop short.

00:15:10.932 --> 00:15:19.192
But the day I told myself that success is on the other side of that obstacle, I made me dig in my heels to do it.

00:15:19.192 --> 00:15:26.417
I cannot tell you how many times in my life that I wanted to stop right before breaking through.

00:15:26.417 --> 00:15:31.533
I mean, there are so many obstacles that make us believe that we can't.

00:15:31.533 --> 00:15:37.253
I mean we can just think of any kind of excuse that we want to we can think of.

00:15:37.253 --> 00:15:48.543
We can believe that we just can't because of whatever reason, so that we just stop short and don't realize that success was right on the other side of that obstacle.

00:15:48.543 --> 00:15:51.399
Quickly, I want to share something.

00:15:51.529 --> 00:15:56.201
When I was a kid, we had to stand up in front of the class and tell everybody what we wanted to be.

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I think I was like I don't even think I was, I was still in elementary school, but I said I wanted to be an actor and I lived on the stage or created in my room all the time actor and I lived on the stage or created in my room all the time and I was always acting things out or writing or drawing or playing instruments, and that's where my happy place was, and it still is.

00:16:15.431 --> 00:16:22.285
I actually was in some musicals and plays and was never more thrilled.

00:16:22.285 --> 00:16:29.833
Now I get that same feeling doing the podcast or writing like you, I mean, I'm sure, on the radio every morning.

00:16:29.833 --> 00:16:33.363
It is a purpose and that is what we love to do.

00:16:34.350 --> 00:16:36.317
So making a difference by creating.

00:16:36.317 --> 00:16:45.163
In Exodus 9, it says but I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed.

00:16:45.163 --> 00:16:47.258
So create with purpose.

00:16:47.258 --> 00:16:48.475
I mean God created with purpose, and I just got a proclaimed.

00:16:48.475 --> 00:16:48.618
So create with purpose.

00:16:48.618 --> 00:16:51.586
I mean God created with purpose, and I just got a shirt that said create with purpose.

00:16:51.586 --> 00:16:52.748
I absolutely love it.

00:16:52.748 --> 00:17:02.335
You know what you are going to do on those trails is create, forge a new path, a path less traveled you are going to conquer.

00:17:03.356 --> 00:17:05.782
That's so sweet that you say you are going to conquer.

00:17:05.782 --> 00:17:11.202
It's what my spiritual counselor just said to me the other day as well go and conquer.

00:17:11.202 --> 00:17:15.198
So I think I just have a big smile on my face.

00:17:15.198 --> 00:17:25.392
If you can't tell by how I'm talking, because I love when you hear things more than once you know you really pay attention to that and I think you're absolutely right about everything that you just said.

00:17:25.392 --> 00:17:27.534
I think you're absolutely right about everything that you just said.

00:17:27.554 --> 00:17:31.296
I didn't know if I could do the training for this trip.

00:17:31.296 --> 00:17:42.865
And lots and lots of mornings probably 95% of mornings or days or evenings whenever I would be training I would come up with excuses of why I couldn't, didn't, want to, shouldn't, can't.

00:17:42.865 --> 00:17:48.123
You know I'm not good enough this, that the other thing, but you know what I now know I can conquer this, that the other thing.

00:17:48.123 --> 00:17:48.356
But you know what I now know.

00:17:48.356 --> 00:17:51.019
I can conquer this trail because I've conquered training.

00:17:51.019 --> 00:17:59.644
I know there's going to be challenging parts, both physically and mentally for me, but I also know that I can do it and I will never quit.

00:18:00.329 --> 00:18:06.598
No, I know you, I know you're going to do it and I can feel it when you're just talking about it.

00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:31.450
You know, I thought of you when I was watching that movie Facing the Giants the other night, because there was this kid, not the David character, but he was the captain of the football team and he did not believe in himself or the team, and it showed, I mean, the coach had put this 160 pound other kid on top of this kid to do like this lobster crawl all the way down the field.

00:18:31.450 --> 00:18:38.364
Well, he was blindfolded so he could not tell where he was or what he was doing, you know.

00:18:38.364 --> 00:18:43.520
And he said to the coach I can't even, I'll barely make it to the 20.

00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:45.973
And the coach said, well, let's try the 50.

00:18:45.973 --> 00:18:58.257
But because he didn't know where he was on the field and he didn't know how far he had gone, he made it to the end zone and it was his own self that had stopped him before that.

00:18:58.257 --> 00:19:04.375
But when he couldn't see the obstacles, which was the line on the field or whatever, I mean, he made it all the way.

00:19:05.276 --> 00:19:06.637
Oh, I love this so much.

00:19:06.637 --> 00:19:15.576
I'm such a visual person and I will carry that story with me on the trail and in that exact way that you phrased it.

00:19:15.576 --> 00:19:27.401
Maybe I don't I'm not going to exactly know how far I am along the trail, but I think if I don't stop and I just keep going until I see that beach, I will be just fine.

00:19:29.346 --> 00:19:30.868
And a beach at the end of the trail.

00:19:30.868 --> 00:19:32.672
Oh my gosh, that's just amazing.

00:19:32.672 --> 00:19:34.595
I didn't even know that part of it.

00:19:34.595 --> 00:19:37.299
Waterfall, oh my.

00:19:37.299 --> 00:19:43.734
So the exact scene from the Jurassic Park.

00:19:43.734 --> 00:19:46.338
That waterfall, that's what you're talking about.

00:19:47.145 --> 00:19:56.588
I don't know if it's exactly that waterfall, but it's in the opening scene of Jurassic Park where you see those beautiful cliffs.

00:19:56.809 --> 00:20:05.994
Yes, yes, okay, oh my gosh, now I'm going to have to go watch it just to know where you are, so where you're going to be for sure.

00:20:05.994 --> 00:20:17.568
So I was just talking to a friend about you and I said you know she is going to do this, she is going to do this, and I am so proud of her.

00:20:18.672 --> 00:20:19.472
Thank you.

00:20:19.472 --> 00:20:20.255
You know what?

00:20:20.255 --> 00:20:23.407
To be honest with you, I am proud of me too.

00:20:23.407 --> 00:20:28.317
I don't know if I've said that very often, but I really am.

00:20:28.317 --> 00:20:32.613
My fears have been overcome by excitement and I feel ready to go.

00:20:33.776 --> 00:20:34.718
We all have dreams.

00:20:34.718 --> 00:20:37.028
What mountain is standing in your way?

00:20:37.028 --> 00:20:41.726
You know, for the people that are listening, what obstacle I mean.

00:20:41.726 --> 00:20:43.730
Back to my story for a second.

00:20:43.730 --> 00:20:46.718
That dream never went away.

00:20:47.507 --> 00:20:58.009
I wanted to create when I was a kid and I want to create now, and it took different paths, but I always made sure that I was still creating with purpose.

00:20:58.009 --> 00:21:09.090
You would think, with me wanting to follow my dreams, I would have went to Hollywood or New York, because that's what I wanted to do, but I allowed obstacles to stop me.

00:21:09.090 --> 00:21:15.008
I'm not sure why I felt such an obligation for me to stay home for my mom instead of leave for my dream.

00:21:15.008 --> 00:21:26.336
And I still went to college, but I didn't go the path that I wanted because I thought of her and I continued that until she died in 2008.

00:21:26.336 --> 00:21:31.984
And by then I had married and had my kids, and now my younger kids I'm raising.

00:21:31.984 --> 00:21:33.448
I didn't have my kids, and now my younger kids I'm raising.

00:21:33.468 --> 00:21:37.277
And I step back and I say what obstacles were put here by me?

00:21:37.277 --> 00:21:47.489
I mean, I still wrote a book and I worked in media for many years and had had my own column and have written many speeches that I've done when I worked in the jail system.

00:21:47.489 --> 00:21:52.853
I got to write and preach and realize that there is not one way up that mountain.

00:21:52.853 --> 00:21:54.528
There are many ways.

00:21:54.528 --> 00:22:06.134
So some take the exact path that they knew that they would take, and some take the path that is more treacherous or that is the one less traveled, or take the detour.

00:22:06.134 --> 00:22:09.886
But it is not about how we get there, but that we get there.

00:22:11.170 --> 00:22:12.452
Amen, absolutely.

00:22:12.452 --> 00:22:15.907
I love that it's not about how we get there, but that we get there.

00:22:16.588 --> 00:22:30.476
You know, I recently realized, and this was so interesting to me I was talking to my friend and I was like, oh my goodness, I was good friends in high school with a guy who won an Emmy.

00:22:30.476 --> 00:22:36.281
Another friend of mine, who I liked, liked on my swim team.

00:22:36.281 --> 00:22:40.732
You know, we like, I, like, like, like, like us.

00:22:40.732 --> 00:22:49.488
We were in the swim team together and we used to, you know, choose the lane to swim with each other in the lane and considered ourselves in a kid way, boyfriend and girlfriend.

00:22:49.488 --> 00:22:51.291
And he's a Hollywood producer.

00:22:51.291 --> 00:22:54.747
I didn't even know that, but he's a Hollywood producer.

00:22:54.747 --> 00:22:57.535
And another boyfriend of mine was his.

00:22:57.535 --> 00:23:04.634
His brother is a Hollywood cameraman and I had some opportunities there that I let go.

00:23:05.596 --> 00:23:22.526
And I know another friend of mine whose husband is a lead guitarist of a famous band, and I mean there's a couple more people I could you know, and it just makes me wonder why they fulfilled their dreams and mine was just different.

00:23:22.526 --> 00:23:25.672
So I'm like what the heck God?

00:23:25.672 --> 00:23:31.931
When my thoughts go to how did I end up in this small town when my dreams were so big?

00:23:31.931 --> 00:23:37.391
You know, I realized that dreams can be fulfilled where we are, dreams are a process.

00:23:37.391 --> 00:23:52.218
And when I look back on my careers because I've had several I realized I never stopped creating and I've always been able to do it with purpose and in really fulfilling ways, even my photography.

00:23:52.218 --> 00:23:58.573
You know, I guess, what we ask ourselves if our dreams did take a different path, are we fulfilled?

00:23:58.573 --> 00:24:02.669
Are we using what we have inside of us to our potential?

00:24:02.669 --> 00:24:04.835
Are we giving it our all?

00:24:04.835 --> 00:24:06.859
I mean, tina, I bet you have.

00:24:06.859 --> 00:24:10.690
You never thought that you could train for something like this?

00:24:11.431 --> 00:24:12.594
So you're right.

00:24:12.594 --> 00:24:15.548
At first I thought I was going to die in training.

00:24:15.548 --> 00:24:31.852
It was CrossFit, it's been CrossFit style training and never did I ever think I could do 140 burpees ever in a single hour, you know, along with I don't even know how many other just torturous training drills.

00:24:31.852 --> 00:24:36.847
But you know what I realized how much I like it and how much I need it.

00:24:36.847 --> 00:24:47.726
And even though I didn't want to go most days because I knew it was going to be hard and my brain would tell me this or that, I found the more I climbed the mountain, the more confident I felt each time.

00:24:49.047 --> 00:24:50.008
You know I've trained.

00:24:50.008 --> 00:24:51.788
I mean I was always an athlete.

00:24:51.788 --> 00:24:55.990
I did two days very tough sport, you know.

00:24:55.990 --> 00:25:09.680
Swimming it's, you know, uses every muscle in your body and yeah, I mean I would swim two hours in the morning and two hours after school and I would train still weights and everything dry land.

00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:13.902
So I know what it takes to be your best in something.

00:25:13.902 --> 00:25:18.290
But I also know where some of our biggest demons lie.

00:25:18.290 --> 00:25:28.727
And you can drive yourself in the pool, you can drive yourself on those treacherous mountains in Hawaii, you can drive yourself on the football field, like that movie.

00:25:29.288 --> 00:25:32.599
But our minds are some of our biggest obstacles to overcome.

00:25:32.599 --> 00:25:38.073
And I can still see myself in front of that class saying I wanted to be an actress, an actor.

00:25:38.073 --> 00:25:43.851
And this kid said well, girls can't be actors, they're actresses.

00:25:43.851 --> 00:25:45.034
And do you know that?

00:25:45.034 --> 00:25:51.416
I just left the front of the classroom, sat down defeated, thinking to myself well, I can't even do that right.

00:25:51.416 --> 00:25:58.307
Undefeated, thinking to myself well, I can't even do that right.

00:25:58.307 --> 00:25:59.451
Oh man, I know so for our listeners, what is your mountain?

00:25:59.451 --> 00:26:03.989
What is that obstacle that is keeping you from following the path you want to Do?

00:26:03.989 --> 00:26:12.192
You know what I admire about you, tina, as you are approaching 40, you are in the best shape in training your mind as well.

00:26:13.253 --> 00:26:14.395
That was so sweet.

00:26:14.395 --> 00:26:15.499
Thank you, Ann.

00:26:15.499 --> 00:26:20.017
Well, I do want to be my best for myself and my family.

00:26:20.017 --> 00:26:21.692
I don't want to have any regrets.

00:26:21.692 --> 00:26:27.471
I want to be able to look back and say I did everything I could to be in my best shape, physically and mentally.

00:26:27.471 --> 00:26:32.606
And maybe some people think, gosh, you're almost 40 and like you're just figuring this out Again.

00:26:32.606 --> 00:26:36.588
However, you get there, doesn't matter how, as long as you get there.

00:26:37.750 --> 00:26:44.492
You know, I just want to add that some of the things that I'm doing in my life, I feel the best I ever have.

00:26:44.492 --> 00:26:56.278
I've always felt like I'm behind my peers and I am living a very successful, loving, just wonderful life and I'm just so happy.

00:26:56.278 --> 00:27:02.741
So for the most part I mean of course I have my moments, but I mean I always.

00:27:02.741 --> 00:27:10.946
You know, it's just taken forever to get to this point in my life and I'm just very grateful for where I am.

00:27:10.988 --> 00:27:16.018
So, and that's what I admire about you grateful for where I am, and that's what I admire about you, the true joy that you have.

00:27:16.018 --> 00:27:25.748
You give so much hope for any one of us who's had a hard, traumatic past.

00:27:25.748 --> 00:27:27.910
I just think of you and I think Ann can do it, so can I.

00:27:27.930 --> 00:27:28.590
Well, thank you, tina.

00:27:28.590 --> 00:27:44.528
I appreciate that, tina, I appreciate that you know, knowing that success is at the top or at the beach, I mean it's beyond the work, beyond the pain, beyond the unknown.

00:27:44.548 --> 00:27:45.692
I mean the unknown can be one of our biggest obstacles.

00:27:45.692 --> 00:27:46.775
Oh yes, I remember that feeling.

00:27:46.775 --> 00:27:48.438
Early on when I started.

00:27:48.438 --> 00:27:57.770
It was like I remember when I said I was going to do it, this trail, and then, once I said I was going to do the trail, it was like, well, there's no backing down now you know.

00:27:57.770 --> 00:28:09.660
And then I was like, but I'm scared to death, like I don't know a whole lot about the trail, meaning I don't know all of the terrain and how technical it is and you know this or that.

00:28:09.740 --> 00:28:41.676
But as you research and you read and people who've gone before you and then part of me wants to learn as I go as well the unknown can be really scary, but it can also be exhilarating and drive you, and that's where I'm at now, and that's why so many of us stay where we are instead of choose to push through, because sometimes, no matter how awful where we're living is, you know, we decide to stay because the unknown which could be better is so scary that we actually stay there.

00:28:41.676 --> 00:28:54.474
So I mean, when I have said yes to anything I didn't know what was ahead, it's saying yes, it's showing up, it's giving your best, whatever level that is at that moment.

00:28:54.474 --> 00:28:58.631
It's just doing it over and over and over until you reach the summit.

00:28:58.631 --> 00:29:08.898
A question for our listeners what hurdle makes you stop halfway up that mountain or halfway on that trail and turn around before you reach the peak?

00:29:09.326 --> 00:29:21.306
You know I have lost my way and I have taken different paths, but I'm here, and Tina is here, and we are here in this moment in time and we are creating with purpose, and this was the unknown.

00:29:21.306 --> 00:29:26.746
But this podcast is doing what we set out for it to do and we want to help one life at a time.

00:29:26.746 --> 00:29:29.048
We want to help others in their trauma.

00:29:29.048 --> 00:29:37.221
You know there's this quote that I saw by Jay Lin it's just Jay period Lin.

00:29:37.726 --> 00:30:03.586
The hardest mountain to climb is the one within, that's so true, it's so true, and I'm just starting to learn how to remind myself, kind of talk myself down, you know, as we've been talking about to this episode, with self-compassion and positive self-talk, to fight that, that mental battle, that, um, you know my my therapist calls it the, what is it called?

00:30:03.586 --> 00:30:07.476
And when the it's not fight or flight.

00:30:07.476 --> 00:30:12.491
I have a lot of that as well, but it's um, the internal, you know, battle.

00:30:12.491 --> 00:30:26.317
She told me that this is going to be the hero and the end of my story and for some reason I can't think of what the term is at the moment, but it's that almost like self-sabotage, but that's not the exact word.

00:30:27.185 --> 00:30:29.994
I'm not sure, but I understand what you're saying.

00:30:30.645 --> 00:30:34.340
Okay, yes, it's, it's overcoming that, it's quieting that voice.

00:30:35.084 --> 00:30:39.375
Okay, so it was part of that therapy that you were doing um that family.

00:30:39.375 --> 00:30:40.657
What's it called again?

00:30:41.005 --> 00:30:44.654
Internal family systems IFS.

00:30:45.115 --> 00:30:45.457
Right.

00:30:45.457 --> 00:30:48.336
I mean, is that part of the IFS?

00:30:49.442 --> 00:30:50.365
Yeah, yeah, that's.

00:30:50.365 --> 00:31:02.929
That's really the only part we've been working on is is that self-compassion with trying to, you know, quiet the mind and and quiet like that lion within that is always wanting to pounce and say no, you're not enough.

00:31:02.929 --> 00:31:04.192
You know that.

00:31:04.192 --> 00:31:12.786
Just alert, alert, alert, gosh, it's going to drag me nuts, that I can't think of it, so I'm going to have to google it and can I think of this talking about it?

00:31:12.757 --> 00:31:14.051
it reminds me of the devil and the angel to have to google it.

00:31:14.051 --> 00:31:14.473
And how can I think of this talking about it?

00:31:14.473 --> 00:31:22.866
It reminds me of the devil and the angel on each side, you know, and the one side of you is going, oh, you're so great, you can do this, and the other one's going, no, you can't.

00:31:22.866 --> 00:31:26.030
No, no, you can't right, it's the inner critic.

00:31:26.286 --> 00:31:27.430
I didn't even have to google it.

00:31:27.430 --> 00:31:29.867
As soon as I was about to, it came to me the inner critic.

00:31:29.867 --> 00:31:33.798
Okay, but I'm told that will be the hero of my story.

00:31:35.605 --> 00:31:40.478
Oh well, I believe that that you'll be able to conquer that.

00:31:40.478 --> 00:31:45.853
You can, I know you can.

00:31:45.853 --> 00:31:50.559
I mean it kind of reminded me of this like joke of this.

00:31:50.559 --> 00:31:56.509
Well, this one person and it was really funny, I mean they said that they didn't have two, a devil and an angel on them.

00:31:56.509 --> 00:32:02.654
They had two devils, you know, one was, or even even if it was an angel, whatever it was.

00:32:02.654 --> 00:32:06.047
It was like one side was saying you can't do this and the other saying, yeah, you're right.

00:32:07.290 --> 00:32:09.817
Yes, exactly, I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:32:14.884 --> 00:32:16.647
So you know Michael Jordan said obstacles don't have to stop you.

00:32:16.647 --> 00:32:19.634
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.

00:32:19.634 --> 00:32:24.029
Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it.

00:32:24.029 --> 00:32:29.767
And you know, trauma has touched so many areas of my life that I allowed it to stop me.

00:32:29.767 --> 00:32:35.298
I allowed trauma and loss to affect so many of my relationships and so much of who I was.

00:32:35.298 --> 00:32:49.715
We do have an episode coming up on how trauma and loss can touch every relationship that we have and, honestly, it could be some of the biggest hurdles that we overcome our very own trauma, our very own blocks within ourselves.

00:32:50.961 --> 00:32:51.644
That's so good.

00:32:51.644 --> 00:32:55.694
I don't even have a better quote to add at this point.

00:32:55.694 --> 00:33:13.135
I am just so grateful that we get to do this and we get to talk through it and hopefully it does help the one because I'm in it just for the one People made a difference in my life and they might've felt at the time that they were just beating their head against a wall with me.

00:33:13.156 --> 00:33:17.366
I felt at the time that they were just beating their head against a wall with me and I really appreciate that.

00:33:17.366 --> 00:33:29.661
You know and I can think in my head exactly the people that made a difference in my life and if this podcast can do that for somebody else, we're just grateful and thankful that we get to do this.

00:33:30.982 --> 00:33:31.964
Yes, absolutely.

00:33:31.964 --> 00:33:34.394
Thank you to all of our wonderful listeners.

00:33:35.424 --> 00:33:43.419
Yes, thank you, and we'll talk to Tina when she gets back and we will have another episode.

00:33:43.419 --> 00:33:54.997
I think we'll have an episode while she's gone with her, not in it, but we will be thinking of her and our prayers go off with her and we can't wait to talk to you when you get back, tina.

00:33:56.445 --> 00:33:57.391
Thank you so much.

00:33:57.391 --> 00:34:02.718
I can't wait to unpack my whole trip with you, and our listeners too, as it comes to me.

00:34:04.125 --> 00:34:05.932
And we'll see you next time.