Friendship, Journalism, and Life's Lessons: From a Murder Trial to Present Day

Speaker 1: 0:09

Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne. We are going to get on to the episode, but I just wanted to start with a listener who has been an avid listener for quite a while now and he got to meet the two of us and he wanted to have a few words. So we thought that we would add that to be getting of this episode, because he's a man from Chicago and he never would have listened to two moms just talking about life. But he made us realize that we are much more than just two moms talking about life. So we want to thank him from the bottom of our hearts at Real Talk with Tina and Anne for sharing what he did. So we thought that we would share that, because you're a regular listener of the podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:58

The things that were being discussed represent personal and family processes going on all over the country every day, very important for the formation of the next generation. The children are going to be the next generation of adults. This was very valuable information, presented in a very severe way and, as I think, where, as I put it, where the rubber meets the road in terms of the actual application techniques and upbringing and all of that it, even though it may seem like it's everyday stuff, it's still profound, it's deep in its own way, it's important stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:39

Did you ever think that you would be listening to two moms talk about everyday stuff?

Speaker 2: 1:43

Given my life style and living as a single adult in Chicago I was a kid, Never, never have any kind of interest in such a thing, but it's like it's a hidden world. You know, it's just you guys have really opened it up, and so even people who might not have any direct interest in this kind of stuff. You still talk about a lot of other issues that affects a lot of other people, Like PTSD, you know. You know I'd say autism. Right, I was going to say I was going to say Alzheimer's, but say that's next.

Speaker 1: 2:16

That's what her mom does of Alzheimer's. We do talk to her.

Speaker 2: 2:19

That's true, you do so, yeah, so that's kind of thing that makes it a.

Speaker 1: 2:24

Yeah, we try to talk about everything that affects everyday people.

Speaker 2: 2:28

Yeah, so I think it's a much wider interest in those people with kids with problems. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Okay, well, thank you, you're welcome. Thank you so much, keith, for listening for one thing and sharing your thoughts about real talk with Tina and Ann, because you know, we started this seven months ago and we really never realized how much of a difference we would make or could make. And we're just so grateful and thankful every single day that we hear from people about this podcast and we're going to keep doing it. But this week we're doing something a little different. So I actually listened to the first episode again and it was really interesting to see that Tina and I have changed tremendously since we taped our very first time. So we're going to run the first one so you can get to hear that and get to know who we were when we first started this and what our reasons were for doing it and how we met and all that really good stuff. So that's why we decided to do that. But we also want to run it because you know we've changed so much in such a short period of time. You wouldn't think that you know seven months, but seven months, 29 episodes. I mean we never thought that we would be doing this and we're both so grateful, so we thought that we would run, like I said, the very first episode. So here it is and it starts from the very beginning. So there's going to be a little bit of our very first intro all the way through the very first episode. So here it is, and thank you again so much for Real Talk with Tina and Anne for listening. I am Tina. Welcome to our first episode of Real Talk. Tina, you and I have known each other so long. How long would you say that we've known each other?

Speaker 3: 4:31

I would say it's been almost 15 years and I can't believe that we're actually doing this. I'm really excited and nervous all at the same time To think that our friendship all began while working in the media at a capital murder trial of all places.

Speaker 1: 4:48

Tina and I were both covering a story. She worked in radio and I worked in the newspaper business. Without going into too much details, it was a pretty big story. We spent quite a bit of time together and we hit it off instantly. The second that we saw each other, we just connected.

Speaker 3: 5:10

But you're so right, we were instant friends. I was so young and I remember my boss giving me a book to read about covering significant court cases. That was all I got Off. I was and becoming friends with you and has continued to be such a gift. Instant connections, at least for me, are not an every year kind of thing.

Speaker 1: 5:33

We were glued. I knew that when I saw you that it was go time and I felt safe about the rest of my day.

Speaker 3: 5:42

Absolutely. You were my rock and my encourager throughout that entire trial. There were some interesting things that happened during that time that you also helped me through. Sometimes we laughed, sometimes we cried, sometimes we ate and sometimes we were just silent, but we were always together all those long and tiring weeks.

Speaker 1: 6:06

Yeah, I remember hanging out at the courthouse for hours upon hours. There were days where they would be deliberating and we would be there 12 hours easy. We would get to escape the courthouse once in a while to go eat with some other media people, but for the most part it was you and me, you and me against the world. We were so much younger. You weren't even married yet. I can remember how young and innocent you were. There was just something in me that wanted to protect you. I don't know why, but we met and, honestly, was a little scared myself covering that story Because it was one of the first big stories like that that I had ever covered. But I just knew that the second I saw you I felt better.

Speaker 3: 7:04

Well, it's crazy to hear you say that, because I would have never guessed that was your first big story like that. It was my first one, and I wear my heart on my sleeve, so any emotion that I have, you know it, and so I don't even think I realized back then that that was your first time on the episode of a story either. Well, I was nervous every single day, yeah, but just for me it was. Knowing that you were going to be there just made me feel so comfortable, and I'm wondering if you felt like maybe you wanted to protect me because of our age difference. I didn't even think about it at the time. Only actually recently did I learn your real age, and so I just wonder if that had something to do with it. And during that trial there were things that I'll never be able to unsee, that I wish I could, and for me I think that that has carried over into being a mom and very particular about what my kids see, because oftentimes you can't unsee it. So I do have younger children and if something comes on the TV, if we're watching sports or something, I'm like, close your eyes and I mute it. Yeah, you know they take it seriously.

Speaker 1: 8:19

Yeah, I'm the same way because, exactly what you just said you can't unsee something, you can't unhear something and you want to try to keep them as innocent as you possibly Can, especially in this day and age. It's just so hard. But I can also remember being in that courtroom, things that we saw. They still haunt me today. It was something that I'll never, ever forget. I remember when you got called to be on a bigger news network and that was really cool for that to happen. You, I think you, called me, and we rode in the car that picked you up to take you to a station and we just wanted to be there for each other and help each other through every single thing that we went through with that story and for even a short time after.

Speaker 3: 9:11

And I've got to tell you, you were my very first call. I was like, oh my gosh, why did they pick me? I don't know what I'm doing, and I was like I'm just this young reporter, like I'm so tired, I'm so exhausted, I think it's like nine o'clock at night, like we've been in court all day and then they call and you know because we're keeping it real, it was a limo and do you remember that? And you picked this up. You were so great because, like I said, not a lot of people in the media are especially like opposing networks, if you will are super kind. But there was no jealousy. You just were like, yeah, I'm gonna be over, I'm coming with you, and I will never forget how grateful and thankful and blessed that I was that you came, because we talked the whole ride there about what happened in the courtroom and I was not able to be in the courtroom because I had to call in to the radio station and do updates every so often. And so you know, when you're inside the courtroom, you can't just leave. Come back, leave, come back. And I remember you telling me you were my eyes and I remember you telling me things that I would not have been able to answer for this big news network that wanted me on, and never will I forget being told that was a very astute observation and I think I left there like just hugging you with this great big hug, like, and you did it. Oh my gosh, thank you so much because everything I thought I was going to talk about when the news anchor talked about it, I could think I was feeling it in my body like, oh no, what am I going to say? I thought I was going to say this and then she asked me the one question that I had asked you on the ride there and, oh, my goodness, just absolutely so grateful, just so blown away by your kindness and your real joy for me in wanting to be my friend. I just, you know, the rest is history, right, yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:02

I mean, you know, I think that that connection helped us be able to work really well as a team back then. And I didn't even second guess when you asked me. And of course I would have went to help you because I thought of you as a friend, even though our relationship was so new, and I didn't look at it as any kind of a competition or anything. I was just so happy for you. Well, you did it.

Speaker 3: 11:30

You are so genuine. Oh, my goodness, one of my favorite traits about you. I feel like it's hard to find that, so for anyone listening, if you have that, hold onto it, that's a treasure.

Speaker 1: 11:42

Well, you know, but life has really happened since then. I mean, so much is different in our lives in 15 years. It's changed so much, hasn't it?

Speaker 3: 11:53

Yeah, a lot of life has happened for both of us, and it's life that has drifted us for a period of time and also brought us so very close together again, with even a deeper connection, I think.

Speaker 1: 12:07

Yeah, I mean, even during the times that we really didn't talk, I still have always felt this connection for you and, weirdly, a protectiveness of you, and I don't know why. I don't know if it's like a mom thing, I have no idea but because I mean I know lots of people around your age group versus my age group, which is a little older. We don't need to say exactly what the?

Speaker 3: 12:32

I always tell my kids you never ask a woman how old she is. Nobody wants to tell you that.

Speaker 1: 12:37

Yeah, for some reason I have always felt that strongly and whenever you've gone through things that have been pretty significant, I felt it so deeply and I just wanted to just run to you and give you a hug and help you through it. So it's always stayed with me. We always kind of stayed in touch through our marriages and our kids, even though it's been 15 years which I still can't believe since we first moved in.

Speaker 3: 13:08

It goes by fast and some days are long, but the years really are short, as that saying goes, and it's crazy to see how quickly time's gone by. You look back and it's kind of fun then to remember where it all started and go back over those 15 years.

Speaker 1: 13:26

Yeah, but it really is all about connection and friendship and talking, listening, caring, a hug, I mean. Those things just are so important and they get you through life.

Speaker 3: 13:38

Absolutely. Someone, you know, is there through it all. I think that's the big thing not just the good, not just the bad, not just the fun, but everything. And also allowing some room for mistakes, because I do believe mistakes make you grow.

Speaker 1: 13:54

So this is how our friendship began, and we both have been in media. We have both had a lot of trauma, pain and joy in our lives, unfortunately, but fortunately, I always learned along this journey that pain is something that we need in life and it actually moves us forward, and joy is just so important and it is everything to me as well as it is to you. I know that you can feel joy and pain at the same time. We both have been in therapy. We both are raising kids. Mine have special needs, so some of the things that we're going to be talking about in these podcasts is some special needs, and I know, with everything that Tina and I have been through, we have both lived a lifetime and a half.

Speaker 3: 14:49

So it sure feels like that sometimes. You know, there are days where I feel like I've run five marathons, days I wish I could redo, days I want to live over and over again, and sometimes those days are just the most simple, where it wasn't necessarily anything big and grand that was going on, but it was just a simple, quiet, happy. And when I say quiet I mean nobody's sick. You know, it's a day, just an ordinary day, that becomes extraordinary. Then there are days where it's just plain struggle. But I guess that's what the journey of life is all about.

Speaker 1: 15:25

Yeah, I like what you said right there about the extraordinary day. An ordinary day can just be an extraordinary day. I absolutely love that because right now and I'll just share like a quick little bit about my life and we'll be doing this more and more as we go on with the episodes but I adopted my grandkids and they are now officially my kids. But a lot of people my age are out there and I just talked to somebody and they went to Vegas and I talked to somebody else and they're going to Florida and I mean I'm not in the retirement age, but I do have a lot of people my age that are doing different things because their kids are grown. And I Look at my life and my life is full and I'm so blessed and I'm not gonna lie. There are days that I sit here and go oh wow, I would love to go to Vegas to all. I can't because I've got Three little kids and all of them have disabilities and I can't leave and I really can't even leave them with a babysitter right now. But you know, it is what it is. But I look at them and I'm sitting around the table last night at dinner time or whatever, and I just am so full, my life is blessed. So it is all about perspective sometimes and you know, all of our experiences is getting us to hear today, right now, wanting to do this podcast. I mean, we both have degrees, we both have a lot of experiences and there's lots of different times that I've been called to a platform, as you have as well, and I just always come away thinking and hoping and praying that maybe there's just one person was help in this journey in that moment. And, tina, you recently referred to yourself as a conduit.

Speaker 3: 17:25

Well, I do think that that is my purpose is to connect people to resources, or people to things or things to things. You know, people to people. I feel like that is what I'm gifted at. But I will say for anyone else listening who is also a conduit, sometimes it's not that I need attention or like, yay, you know, thank you, you did this. But sometimes you feel like, are you even noticed because you're the connector piece, and sometimes I feel like you forget about what's connected you because you already have what you're looking for once the connection is made, and so sometimes I find that's where I struggle. I love being a conduit, I love helping people, connecting people, but sometimes you kind of feel left out. But my hope here is to connect with you and hopefully connect you to something that maybe you need in life, that you'll hear us talk about, our experiences will bring you.

Speaker 1: 18:27

You know it's funny that that's the word that you used when we talked about starting this podcast was a conduit, because I always felt that way as well. That was one of the words that always kept going through my mind. I one of the degrees which I, you know, like I said, it isn't about that, but I went into social work and one of the reasons I went into social work in psychology was because I always wanted to, and I still. I do this all the time. When I hear somebody has a need, I'll research it and I'll try to find the resources that they need to help them. So, you know, having a conduit and I wouldn't be where I am right now if I didn't have conduits people are a good point that helped connect me or were they were there for me during really difficult times in my life. So it's that you know. Passing it to somebody else, you know that moving it forward, kind of thing, where you know we are older, even though I'm older than you were older, hopefully a little wiser, I mean I'm not that person that I used to be, even 15 years ago when I hope that you know. And you know we have a story. I have a story and a half for sure, and I know you do too. The only reason we are here at this point in our lives is that we are both fighters. We are resilient. We have had moments where we are completely beat up, completely and feel like we can't even breathe. I've had lots of moments in my life like that. Then we find a way to put one foot in front of the other and we make it.

Speaker 3: 20:11

That's right. I think it is about taking the first step. That was so good. Resilient that's a trade I value about myself and about you, and I think that we, as humans, need to be in our made to be working, learn to be resilient. I think that's what you need to be able to balance joy and pain in this life.

Speaker 1: 20:34

You know we're going to be talking about a lot of difficult things in this podcast. We are going to be talking about anger, forgiveness, attachment, boundaries, self doubt, confidence, self care which is really important, the percentage of therapies, self talk which is a biggie for me, I know, and we've talked about that with you as well hope, shame, feeling vulnerable, addictions, disabilities, surrendering and so much more.

Speaker 3: 21:04

Whoa, I know a lot of heavy stuff right, but we get it. So if you're in those places, we have been there or are there too. But I want you to know there's so much hope and beauty along the journey and if it's one thing that Ann and I are, we are real.

Speaker 1: 21:21

Yeah, so we hope that you can join us each week as we are real, because that is the only thing that you're gonna find here. In fact, I have a pretty all the circle of friends that I have Are so transparent and they're real and I have kind of weeded out people in my life, I guess, that just weren't really real and authentic with me and it's just. It's just so important to just Be as honest and transparent as possible in relationships, as we share what's going on in our lives and hope to hear what's going on in yours. Absolutely, yeah, we hope to make this a very interactive Podcast. You can currently reach us on our Facebook page real talk with Tina and Ann. You can message us, let us know what you think, what you would like us to talk about, and let us know what is going on in your lives. Each week, we will finish the podcast with a quote, and I know that you came today with a quote, tina.

Speaker 3: 22:26

Oh, this might be my favorite part each week. I am a collector of quotes, I have thousands of them, and so this is one of my all-time favorites. I'll start us off with one from Trisha lot. Will a third who knows a lot about joy and pain, her Profound, oh boy, see what happens. I'm still in radio. I must have talked too much earlier today. It's profound, but keeping it real Profound. Well, see, I'm struggling with that word again, boy, there are some that just trip me up. I never knew this was one of them.

Speaker 1: 23:07

Well, I have words that I cannot say, no matter what, so I get it.

Speaker 3: 23:13

You got a laugh. You know, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at, right? Well, trisha's quote that really changed the way I view every single day is the best days and the worst days only last 24 hours. Isn't that so good?

Speaker 1: 23:31

It really is good. I mean, that speaks to me so much because we have this thing in our house that every day is a new day and it offers new opportunities. I have three kids that I'm trying to raise and it can be really crazy and I just I have we have this thing that we offer new chances and don't hold yesterday's behavior over someone's head and we pave the way for a new outlook every single day.

Speaker 3: 23:59

So I absolutely love that quote I do too, and I love what you're teaching your kids. You are sensational. I always tell I have three kids as well, and I tell my kids that you know today is a good day for what? And they'll answer a good day, and I always say be kind, have fun, help others and, most importantly, and they finish it with I love you and I tell them I love you too and cool. Well, thanks they're. They're really really great kids and it's something that I feel like has been ingrained in them now, and I have told them that if you ever want to start over, all you have to do is ask, but I'm not gonna make that first step for you. So they have now come to learn that when they make a mistake or you know they hurt One of their siblings or whatever it may be, they're really learning to step up and not only apologize but say, can we start over? And it's like yes.

Speaker 1: 25:01

See, that's you know what, if everybody was taught that, I mean it, you would just we would have when we're, if we were taught that, that young, we would have a different opinion maybe about ourselves and give ourselves, not be so hard on ourselves. I, I tell my kids every morning when they leave for school, we always just look at each other and say best day, ever Best day, and we of course tell it all of us that we love each other and things like that, because that's just so Important it to teach them these things, this young, absolutely.

Speaker 3: 25:37

Oh, so so good. Well, thank you all for tuning in to our first ever episode. We are so excited that you're taking this journey with us. Thank you for listening, and we'll be back next week.

Speaker 1: 25:51

Thank you.