Everything is on the other side! A Different Perspective! Part 2

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Welcome to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.

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This is Anne and this is part two of.

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Everything is on the Other Side, I Promise Part one was amazing and this is actually just about a couple minutes of part one to just get you going on the second part, you can watch it in its entirety on YouTube and I have a link for that.

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So just click on it and it will.

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And Ann, tina and I both really, really appreciate you and just follow us.

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Go on our website, realtalktinaanncom.

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Go on Facebook and follow our page and message us and we will message you back.

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I mean, this has been a wonderful journey and we really appreciate each and every one of you.

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Here is part two.

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I can remember when I first learned the unicycle.

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I got this thing when I was like 12 years old and I have no idea why I wanted to learn it, but I did.

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I wanted to learn how to ride this thing on my back deck and, you know, holding on to the walls, and I would fall and fall for hours until I got to where I was riding to my friend's houses on a unicycle instead of on a bike.

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So that was so funny.

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And I can remember in swimming and when we would practice four hours a day, two days a week, dry land, and I was just this really determined kid.

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I mean I have the makeup of somebody who wants to win.

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I often talk about the thing that made me stop winning.

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You know, I've talked about when my dad passed away and how then I made that association with death and loss and winning.

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And I had other things happen, like my aunt had died, who I really liked, and it was my graduation and all of my family had to go to her funeral instead of my graduation, and so you know, those things kind of just kept making associations with me.

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And time after time, you know, it just kind of changed me.

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I was getting married and my biological brother was supposed to walk me down the aisle.

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Because I didn't have a dad to walk me down the aisle and my biological mom would not let him do that, so they wouldn't even come.

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So then I ended up asking my adopted mom to walk me down the aisle last second.

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But that's just kind of the way things have gone and I just keep saying, you know what?

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I'm just going to keep moving forward.

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And it reminds me of that Thomas Edison quote I have not failed.

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I have just found 10,000 ways that it didn't work, and when he was talking about inventing the light bulb, he did fail thousands and thousands of times before he figured out how it would work.

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And that's just life.

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That is life, and I think it should be an inspiration to anyone listening and something we can tell all of our athletes and everyone who's striving to create and make and just be the best of themselves to create something really amazing.

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I always say mistakes mean that you're learning, and so I had this great conversation with my middle child last night and how I'm not upset when you make mistakes.

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You need to learn from them, though, and that's kind of what they mean.

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They mean you're learning, so don't give up.

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You can't just throw in the towel because it didn't work the first time.

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If everything worked the first time yeah, it would be easy.

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And the whole thing is to grow your brain, because not everything should be easy.

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I mean, if you're in first grade, you shouldn't know division.

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You're not expected to just see the numbers and know how to do it.

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So I really love that because you could fail so many times.

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Or I'll give you an example of one of my favorite shows is American Idol, which is really funny because I've not watched it at all this season.

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And it's the first season.

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I've missed.

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It's the best.

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I'm so sad I'm missing it.

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What are they down to?

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Is it top 12?

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Are we past that already?

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Oh, it's down to five.

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I can't believe it, and I think it's Katy Perry's last time being a judge and I really like her.

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Yeah, she said keep my seat warm to the person coming in, so maybe she's coming back.

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I don't know.

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Okay, well, the first, the initial host for the first year, thought this isn't going to do a whole lot.

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He thought it was going to tank, or maybe reviews said it wasn't going to be anything and Brian.

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Seacrest took it over.

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After that I mean, look, it's been going on for I don't even know 30 seasons, something like that.

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And so just to show you know, don't give up.

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Maybe something's not for someone, but or you know someone else but it just might be for you someone but, or you know someone else, but it just might be for you, right?

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you know, it also goes for your brain too.

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I was just thinking about how much effort it takes for your brain to carve a new path, how you have to do it so many times before you actually have to create a new thought process, a new thought path and uh, so nothing.

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I mean, I don't think that when God was making us, he was thinking I'm just going to make this so easy for them.

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Yeah, he certainly didn't do that.

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He really I don't know, but he gave us all the tools, he gave us all the abilities to be able to figure it out.

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So I mean, that's the cool part of it.

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You know the other part of that Thomas Edison thing and I absolutely love this story and maybe a lot of people don't know this, but this is really a fact you know, when, after he got done making this functioning light bulb and he had worked so hard I'm talking thousands of hours that he put into this and he finally found the right way to make this first functioning light bulb, and he had it in his hands and he gave it to this young man it was actually a boy who was working in the workshop.

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He gave it to him and he went up the stairs to take it up to the other part of the workshop and he dropped it.

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He dropped it.

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And so you know, edison, he did not shame him, he did not blame him, he didn't do all the things.

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He didn't say you know, nope, you lost your chance, you're out of here, kid.

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He made another one, he spent another 24 hours in the workshop, he put it together, he made it again and then he ended up giving that same that light bulb to that same kid and gave him another chance.

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And this time he did it.

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But I absolutely love that because you know, I mean, how many times would people just write somebody off like that over something?

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I mean that was a really major thing.

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But he's like nope, I'm going to give you this second chance because I believe in you.

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Just imagine how that kid felt when he put that light bulb back in his hands.

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It was probably a life-changing moment for that kid, who felt so bad, I assume, after dropping it, but then was like wait, he believes in me this much that he gave me another chance.

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I mean, that's a good life lesson, right there, I think so too, and he didn't make him feel bad at all.

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I mean, he just went.

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Okay, I'll make another one.

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Gave it to him, you know, I mean he just went.

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Okay, I'll make another one.

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Gave it to him.

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You know, I mean there is so much in that story.

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It's one of my favorite stories.

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So one of my favorite books and I read it, I have read it cover to cover is Uncommon Friends, and it is a story of Thomas Edison, henry Ford, harvey Firestone, alexis Carell if I'm saying that right and Charles Lindbergh.

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Could you imagine them being friends, being in a room with them?

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This book is just so powerful and you know, there was no other time in history that brought us to where we are now.

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I really believe that.

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I mean, these men forged that path that no one else had traveled and they brought us everything from cars to a way to play music, to the light bulb, to flying.

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And if you ever want to think of taking nothing and making something or trying to figure out a way to go through when it seems impossible, read this book, uncommon Friends, because it taught me so much and it made me want to conquer the world and you know, it made me.

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It is thought that maybe Edison was autistic, but also he was deaf in both ears, almost completely from scarlet fever as a kid, but he believed he had purpose and he didn't give up.

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So he believed he had purpose.

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I mean, that is so cool.

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And you know, einstein did not talk until he was four, which is a sign of autism, and didn't understand what was going on in the classroom a lot of times.

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So he was thought to have actually even been dyslexic.

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So I bet that he was autistic.

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I just have a feeling.

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So the point is, nothing can hold you back and there are going to be so many things that are hurdles or they seem very difficult, seem hard, but you can do it.

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But it takes action, like I said, and it takes more than just thinking about it.

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You have to do something, no matter how hard, I said, and it takes more than just thinking about it.

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You have to do something, no matter how hard.

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And you know I'm also thinking about not only did he give that kid a chance, but just imagine if you did that to yourself.

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Just imagine if you just said okay, well, I worked so hard on this project and it's all tanked.

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I worked so hard on this project and it's all tanked.

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I'm just going to do it again and I'm not going to shame myself and blame myself, and we're just going to make it work and just keep moving through no-transcript.

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I know right, you know you talk about inspirational books, and the one that did it for me is called Love Does by Bob Goff, my favorite author, one of the only other podcasts that I get a chance to listen to or make time to listen to, and I love it so much because it just talks about every chapter is unique, but it really just talks about honing in on love and how we can love others, about honing in on love and how we can love others.

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And one of my favorite stories in there was how he was eating out at a seaside or lakeside restaurant, wherever he has his boat, and he was talking to this younger server and over a period of time, the server said I really want to propose to my girlfriend on a boat and Bob was like well, I have a boat and he's like well, can I use your boat?

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He was like, well, yeah, because he wanted to be a part of something, and I think that's so important.

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You know my two older sons are very different in how they play sports.

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My oldest is in it to win.

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It could play every single day very competitive, very talented, gifted athlete and teammate, and that's super important and I love that about him.

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My middle son is more like Bob Goff.

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He would just I just want to be a part of it.

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So because his best buddy's playing, he's playing baseball and for him this was so funny.

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He struck out his one at bat, he hit a double, another at bat and he caught a fly ball and you know what?

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It was all the same to him.

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He just didn't bother him that he struck out.

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He wasn't jumping up and down that he caught a ball or hit a double.

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He was very in the zone, if you will, but just happy to be a part of it.

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So I think sometimes we need to dig and look at ourselves and see kind of what our personality is.

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And do we just need to be a part of something you know, or do we need to really work hard to overcome this?

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Or I don't know?

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But I think there's so much good in what you said, so much good in the story and in the book Love Does.

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I can't recommend it enough.

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It's such a great book.

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Bob Goff is a fun writer and it'll definitely inspire you to do something Like also one of my favorite things he did, and I've heard a lot of people who've read this book say that this is their favorite story in the book, because each chapter is just its own little story, and I've heard a lot of people say that they would do, they wish they could do what he did.

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He made a key to his house real copies of his keys and he sent them to every leader around the world because that's what his son or daughter, I can't remember wanted to do for something she just said she wanted to do in school just to give them a break to.

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You know if these world leaders just needed a break, somewhere safe to go.

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And so they sent these keys to every single world leader and they actually got some hits.

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People actually came and stayed at their house, and it's such a fantastic story.

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And they have a children's version of this book, so we own both copies and it was fantastic.

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It's the first book I made my son read this year, to be honest with you, my oldest, because it was so, so good and it will just inspire you to see things differently, to not give up and to just love, because love I'm going to have to look this up yes, love, like we talk about change as a verb love as a verb, and that's what he talks about Absolutely.

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You know, one of the things that I do is make a storyboard or, like you know, a map.

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I do is make a storyboard or, like you know, a map, and I want to accomplish, if I want something done.

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I you know, maybe some people don't believe in this, but I do believe in manifesting.

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And the reason why I do is because if you want it to happen, you have to make it happen.

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And so you know, I just think it and I think it, and then I do it, and I believe that it's going to happen, and then you can manifest it.

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I believe that there's power in positive thinking.

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You know I'm still thinking about and I keep asking everybody I know, do you have a money tree?

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Like, can you give me some of those seeds?

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Does anybody have a money tree?

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I haven't manifested that yet.

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But I'll tell you what.

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There is definitely power in what you think, so what you choose to think can come true, whether negative or positive.

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I absolutely think that because you start believing what you think, the thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become, I guess, who you are, if that's the next part of it.

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So, oh, I believe in that too.

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You know, just think about this Edison quote.

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I was always afraid of things that worked the first time.

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Hmm, I'm going to ponder that, I know, isn't that cool?

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Yeah, that is really cool, I know, because you always have to work through it to make it its best.

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I mean, don't you think, I mean, that's true?

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Maybe that's why pencils have erasers.

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You know, I don't know.

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That's a fun, that's just a fun thing to think about.

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I don't think I've.

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I've never thought about that.

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Yeah, and he, and he said it so Good food for thought, yeah, it really was.

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Or this quote by george allen no matter who you are or what your position is, you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve, and I love that too.

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I would say to all the people pleasers listening, that's probably one that you need to hear, because there is no pleasing everyone and in fact you're probably.

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If that's who you are, you're probably only hurting yourself the most you want to take the last one.

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Yes.

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The greatest fight is when you are fighting in the smoke and cannot see with your eyes.

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Mark Halperin, isn't that good?

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That's a good one too.

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I mean, you can't even see sometimes, maybe, what your next step is or what you're supposed to do, but if you just keep moving, it will eventually get done.

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I mean, I can't tell you how many times in my life, and that's why and we've talked about this I have said to myself just trust the process, trust the process and just keep going.

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I'll tell you, when we were doing the adoption, everything possible stood in our way and I was just like, and I didn't do anything to make it happen.

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Does that make sense?

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I didn't allow it to just say you know what I?

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Okay, I'm done, we're just not going to do it.

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I just waited, just kept doing what I was supposed to be doing, waited, just kept doing what I was supposed to be doing, and then the doors just kept opening and it did happen.

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So I mean, there were blocks and blocks and blocks, but I did nothing about those.

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I just kept doing what this list of things that I had that I was supposed to be doing to adopt, and it just happened and none of those other things actually stood and I just kept going and it worked.

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Well, I got to tell you that now I feel like I need to go get a run in around the block or at least a walk or two, so I'm going to go do it, I'm going to do it, I'm going to start.

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You've inspired me.

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I feel like, now that I've said it, I really have to do it so that we can follow up next week.

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And I just want to say thank you so much for listening to Real Talk with Tina and Anne.

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It has been a joy to chat with you today.

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I wanted to come on here to talk a little bit, like sometimes I do, and one of the reasons I wanted to was because quotes have gotten me through.

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Reading Uncommon Friends, you know, just being soaked up by other people's wisdom has really gotten me through.

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I mean, one of my biggest quotes that I have I have a huge picture of a swimmer, because I used to be a swimmer and across it it just says victory.

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I mean this I used to spend in the worst time of my life.

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I used to spend and this is going to make me cry, I don't know why that happened this, you know, in one of the worst times of my life, and I'm it's just because I'm thinking of that time of my life.

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That's why I'm crying.

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I spent I can't even tell you how many hours filling my soul with other people's words, because my words were really hurting me and so I didn't want to hear me.

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I didn't want to hear my thoughts.

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So I sat there and I would read and read and read, and I would just take in all these other influences in my life.

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Oh, influences, what a word.

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I mean there's a difference between being somebody who's influential and somebody who's just being power driven, and those are two completely different people, and we're going to actually talk about that in an episode coming up pretty soon.

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But one of the quotes that Thomas Edison said that has really touched me is our greatest weakness lies in giving up.

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You know, some of the absolute worst times in my life, there was nothing in if there was no reason to keep going.

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I have never once had that thought, though.

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I have never once allowed my mind to even go and go in a direction of not doing it, of not making it, of not trying to be my best self.

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That was not even.

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I mean.

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Okay, I guess I have like that Thomas Edison mentality where it's just whatever it takes, it doesn't matter.

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I am going to find my way out of this ditch, and it was a lot more than a ditch.

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It was a freaking cave dug way under the ground and there was no sign of light, there was no way out.

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It felt like and you know the rest of that quote is it felt like and you know the rest of that quote is the most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time, just one more time.

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There's always another one more time in you, and if you think to yourself and you look at the big picture and you just think, oh my gosh, there's just no way I can do that, that's just.

00:22:09.913 --> 00:22:13.099
There's like 50,000 steps ahead of me.

00:22:13.099 --> 00:22:28.920
Nobody's asking you to look at the picture in that way, but you can look at it in a way where you just say you know what I can do this one more time, just one more step, just one more.

00:22:28.920 --> 00:22:36.884
And if you just visualize the first step and that's all that you do and that's all that you focus on, then it's attainable.

00:22:36.884 --> 00:22:38.630
It is attainable.

00:22:39.290 --> 00:22:46.939
I am telling you, none of those stories that I told in this episode are false.

00:22:46.939 --> 00:23:03.085
Every single one of them is an accurate depiction of my brain, of you know, and I didn't even go into, like, the biggest, some of the biggest hurdles that I had to overcome.

00:23:03.085 --> 00:23:23.339
Now, yes, the disabilities was absolutely huge, huge, and I can't tell you how many kids I know today who are autistic or dyslexic and there are so many hurdles in front of them.

00:23:23.339 --> 00:23:33.191
I have three kids that live with me that have these same hurdles and it's like I watch them and it is so difficult for them.

00:23:33.191 --> 00:23:44.931
You know, what's hard for me is watching their typical peers just don't have the same struggles.

00:23:44.931 --> 00:23:47.837
They just go out there and they laugh and they have fun.

00:23:47.837 --> 00:23:57.682
And then I watch my kids struggle so hard to figure it out my one son right now.

00:23:58.564 --> 00:24:02.356
I've been figuring out what's going on with him, I believe.

00:24:02.356 --> 00:24:08.652
I believe he's angry and he's lashing out at everybody and everything right now.

00:24:08.652 --> 00:24:22.142
I started figuring this out recently when we were at his baseball game for kids with special needs and he used to be this really happy kid and he loved it.

00:24:22.142 --> 00:24:28.401
But now to get him to go and to have fun, he's just angry.

00:24:28.401 --> 00:24:38.723
And so I'm going to have to really hone in on that this summer and try to help him understand.

00:24:38.723 --> 00:25:00.941
He's kind of lost some choices along the way because of some choices that he's made and because of that he has found himself in a place he doesn't like and I understand his anger.

00:25:00.941 --> 00:25:05.172
So now we have to start there and we have to build from there.

00:25:05.874 --> 00:25:08.619
And you know this comes down to what we're talking about here.

00:25:08.619 --> 00:25:21.594
If you want different, you have to do different, and if you're in this same spot, then you were a few months ago or six months ago or whatever.

00:25:21.594 --> 00:25:22.936
I mean why are you?

00:25:22.936 --> 00:25:24.700
And you have to figure out.

00:25:24.700 --> 00:25:35.451
Why are you out?

00:25:35.451 --> 00:25:35.691
Why are you?

00:25:35.691 --> 00:25:36.594
You have to act, you have to move.

00:25:36.594 --> 00:25:38.798
I'll tell you I would love to do it for him because I figured it out.

00:25:38.798 --> 00:25:43.730
You know, I was in his spot when I was a kid and I figured it out and how to get here.

00:25:43.730 --> 00:25:51.285
But it took 50 billion times of messing up and going in the wrong directions before I figured it out.

00:25:51.285 --> 00:26:01.715
And mistakes are learning opportunities and that's the way you have to look at it.

00:26:02.959 --> 00:26:08.218
It's not the absolute worst situation that you can be in.

00:26:08.218 --> 00:26:10.020
I don't know what it is.

00:26:10.020 --> 00:26:20.292
I don't know if it's that somebody's treating you absolutely awful, that you're living in the worst, absolute, horrendous situation that you can imagine.

00:26:20.292 --> 00:26:30.864
I don't know if you've earned a spot in jail for a period of time or you know health or whatever it is.

00:26:30.864 --> 00:26:42.332
I can tell you right now if you can want to be the best self that you can be in the situation that you're in right now, it is up to you.

00:26:42.332 --> 00:26:44.034
It's up to you.

00:26:44.034 --> 00:27:01.835
I know somebody personally in my life who continuously chooses to go, and this is that little analogy, or you know that little saying of you know, if you go down the same road and you just keep falling in that same hole.

00:27:01.835 --> 00:27:10.651
You know, I mean you have nobody to blame but yourself if you keep going down that same road and falling in that same hole.

00:27:11.271 --> 00:27:17.924
I mean, I did that, I did it and I did it and I did it and I couldn't figure out.

00:27:17.924 --> 00:27:20.073
Why am I not growing?

00:27:20.073 --> 00:27:22.196
Why am I not getting out of this?

00:27:22.196 --> 00:27:23.598
Why am I?

00:27:23.598 --> 00:27:27.964
You know, grace is a really big thing.

00:27:27.964 --> 00:27:43.316
One of the things that I loved in this episode was listening to what Thomas Edison did to that young man, not just for that young man, but when I turned it in the episode and I said, what if we did that for ourselves?

00:27:43.316 --> 00:28:04.520
What if we gave that same kind of grace to ourselves and allowed ourselves not to be so hard on us in order to just say, oh well, I goofed up, I goofed up, oh well, I'm in this really horrendous situation and I just I need to start acting, I need to start moving forward.

00:28:05.242 --> 00:28:20.897
We had this thing in the jails and because I can remember one little study we were having, we were all sitting in a circle, there was a bunch of women sitting with me and one of the women who was in the jail, she said I don't know.

00:28:20.897 --> 00:28:23.662
I mean I've been doing.

00:28:23.662 --> 00:28:29.479
She said I've been praying and praying, and praying and God just doesn't do this for me.

00:28:29.479 --> 00:28:32.953
And I'm just like, what did you just say?

00:28:32.953 --> 00:28:36.942
And so it's about okay.

00:28:36.942 --> 00:28:48.777
If you're a God-fearing person, if you're somebody who believes in God, and you just keep praying and praying, and praying but you're not doing anything, god's willing to meet us halfway.

00:28:48.777 --> 00:28:51.721
He is absolutely willing to.

00:28:51.721 --> 00:28:55.777
You know, drop some miracles and favors from the sky.

00:28:55.777 --> 00:29:03.018
I really believe in that because I have personally had those things happen to me, but it was because of my own hard work as well.

00:29:03.018 --> 00:29:07.855
I had to do some really hard things to get out, to move on.

00:29:07.855 --> 00:29:23.201
And I would still be that person who was living in that basement with those absolutely horrible people getting abused in the absolute worst way, if I didn't figure out how to get out Lifelines.

00:29:23.851 --> 00:29:34.317
I'm telling you they're being thrown to you all the time and you have to take them, because if you don't take them, you're going to be sitting there going.

00:29:34.317 --> 00:29:36.000
Why in the world am I not getting out?

00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:37.132
But I've had a lifeline.

00:29:37.132 --> 00:29:38.114
I've had a lifeline.

00:29:38.114 --> 00:29:44.712
Maybe somebody has offered you something, maybe somebody has shown you a different path.

00:29:44.712 --> 00:29:54.272
And you just are continuously saying and using excuses and as to why you just can't get out of whatever the situation is.

00:29:54.272 --> 00:30:00.161
And again, it takes one step at a time.

00:30:01.643 --> 00:30:08.624
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and it looks like work.

00:30:08.624 --> 00:30:09.385
Well, guess what?

00:30:09.385 --> 00:30:12.913
Thomas Edison said that, and you know what it is work.

00:30:12.913 --> 00:30:17.784
It is work, but opportunity is opportunity and you have to.

00:30:17.784 --> 00:30:19.837
Every single time that door opens.

00:30:19.837 --> 00:30:22.569
If you don't walk through it, that's a missed opportunity.

00:30:22.569 --> 00:30:26.897
And that is absolutely the way that I have viewed life.

00:30:26.897 --> 00:30:34.712
If we did all the things that we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.

00:30:34.712 --> 00:30:36.576
You would astound yourself.

00:30:37.178 --> 00:30:45.881
Thomas Edison said that too Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

00:30:45.881 --> 00:31:02.538
And I know that for a fact because I spent time giving up during times in my life where I absolutely should not have given up and I did and I missed an opportunity and I could have been so much further along in life than I am right now.

00:31:02.538 --> 00:31:08.459
But you know, there's catch up and I did catch up to where I was supposed to be in life.

00:31:08.459 --> 00:31:19.037
I have to believe that you know this quote I'm sure that everybody has heard this Thomas Edison quote genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

00:31:19.778 --> 00:31:22.083
And I mean, you can think all day long what you want to do.

00:31:22.083 --> 00:31:23.832
You can think it, think it, think it.

00:31:23.832 --> 00:31:28.199
Oh, I'm going to be this and I'm going to do this, and but that's really.

00:31:28.199 --> 00:31:33.554
It really is just one percent of what Getting there is.

00:31:33.554 --> 00:31:39.134
The rest is all you man, it is all you All, right.

00:31:39.134 --> 00:31:41.040
Well, I'm going to leave you with that.

00:31:41.040 --> 00:31:46.055
Thank you so much for listening to real talk with tina and ann Means.

00:31:46.055 --> 00:31:47.951
A lot Talk to you soon.